Three years after the disappearance of Madeleine McCann, can we feel
confident about our children’s safety?
Who can forget
Madeleine McCann’s
face?
For
months after she went missing on holiday in
Praia Da Luz in May 2007, it seemed
like her image – with that distinctive blemish in her right eye – was
everywhere. Recently,
Lorraine Kelly exclusively interviewed
Kate and
Gerry McCann to mark the
third
anniversary of their daughter’s
disappearance from their
holiday apartment.
By now, the story of that night in the
Ocean Club resort is well-told. Having
tucked Madeleine up in bed next to her twin siblings
Sean and Amelie,
they popped out for dinner to a
nearby restaurant, returning regularly
to check on them.
Madeleine’s story
For three years Kate and Gerry have lived almost every moment of the
hunt for their
daughter in the media spotlight, going through private moments of
anguish in public. A huge number of us felt – and continue to feel –
deeply touched by their plight. Most parents struggle to contemplate how
the McCanns cope not knowing what happened. But Madeleine’s
disappearance has also raised a crucial issue. Is it OK to leave a young
child asleep on her own, even if you’re not far away? Not only have the
McCanns had to cope with the loss of a child, but also inevitable guilt
about doing so – and public criticism for their decision.
‘If we could turn back the clock and change what happened, we wouldn’t
have done it,’ Gerry told Lorraine. Madeleine would now be seven years
old, and her parents are still looking for her. ‘In my heart I feel
she’s out there,’ Kate told Lorraine. ‘There’s nothing to say she
isn’t.’ Hoping to keep the campaign alive, they’ve launched a summer
holiday pack for Brits to take abroad. It’s important to keep
Madeleine’s face in the media to increase the chances of her being
found, but the huge exposure of her case has reinforced our fear of what
could happen to our own children.
Are we too cautious?
Abductions are actually far rarer than we might think. Statistics show
that a child is more likely to be injured or killed in a car accident
than be snatched by a stranger. Figures released under the Freedom of
Information Act showed that around 470 children were abducted from the
UK and taken abroad illegally in 2008. But most of these involved
parents who kidnapped their own child after losing custody because of a
marriage breakdown.
Yet experts are concerned that an increasing number of people are so
fearful of potential dangers to their children that they overprotect
them. The result is more children driven to and from school, having
supervised ‘playdates’, or just encouraged to stay inside. ‘Very rarely
are children seen on the streets, playing outside, taking themselves to
school, because we live in such a risk-averse and paranoid culture
around child safety. We need resilient children, not cosseted ones,’
said clinical psychologist and TV presenter Professor Tanya Byron. In
2006, nearly 300 teachers, psychologists, authors and childcare experts
got together to warn that keeping children cooped up indoors playing on
computer games instead of out in the fresh air could actually contribute
to the rise of mental health and behavioural problems.
Stay vigilant
Clare Scott-Dryden is founder of ChildAlert (www.childalert.co.uk)
),
a guidance organisation that aims to give parents information to keep
kids safe and well. She’s met people who won’t let their child out
alone, warning their little one there might be a bad man round the
corner. ‘Not only does that child pick up on their parent’s anxiety, but
they’ll become a victim before anything’s happened,’ she says. Compare
this bubble-wrapped existence to the childhoods many of us enjoyed a
generation ago. Long summer holidays whizzing around on bikes, climbing
trees and playing outside all day with friends, only coming in for
mealtimes or to have a plaster put on a cut. ‘As a parent, of course you
need to be vigilant,’ says Clare. ‘Have your eyes and ears open to what
they’re doing, who they’re talking to, where they’re going. But now,
most children live their lives at superspeed – they are transported
around as quickly as possible – and that means they’re less reliant on
their instincts. We must encourage them to be aware of what’s going on
around them.’
Open up communication
All parents want to feel their child can come to them with any issue.
For a younger child, that might involve sharing feelings on upsetting
things they’ve heard, such as the abduction of a child. Kids should be
encouraged to talk about issues to help them put frightening information
into a more balanced and reasonable context. For a parent of a teenager,
keeping the lines of communication open may involve discussing things
that may be bothering them online. That way, they’re more likely to
confide in you if they’re being cyber-bullied, or worried about sexual
predators.
There’s no minimum legal age
for leaving children home alone or letting them out alone, but experts
agree it’s up to a parent to decide if their child is responsible
enough. You can teach your child to stay safe After all, you can’t
protect them all the time – they have to learn how to protect
themselves, too.
What to do if a young child
goes missing
If they disappear from home, check places where they might crawl or
hide. For example cupboards, piles of washing, in and under beds, inside
washing machines or cars. If you still can’t find them, call the police
immediately. If you’re in a shop, act quickly. Tell the manager and
security guard, then the police. The police will want to know your
child’s name, age, height, weight, what they’re wearing and anything
that marks them out.
FOUR things to teach kids
1.
Tell your children that they must never go off with anyone, even
someone they know, without first asking you or their carer.
2.
Teach them their full name, address and phone number as soon
they’re old enough to understand, and get them to practise saying them.
3.
Let children know that they never have to do anything they don’t
like with an adult or older child – even if it’s someone they know.
4.
Teach older children safe ways of crossing roads, going shopping
and asking adults for directions.
Taken from Out Alone:
Your Guide to
Keeping your Child Safe, a free NSPCC download |