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Wednesday, 28 April 2010
I decided to record the 'chat' in the end to enable me to type up
a transcript for those who may not have TV or may not have
audio on their computers.
LK = Lorraine Kelly
KM = Kate McCann
GM = Gerry McCann
LK: They join me now, three years. I can’t believe
it’s been three years. It’s extraordinary isn’t it?
KM: I know, it’s incredible really; it just
doesn’t feel like three years to me. Sure.
GM: Mmmm. Last year in particular has gone
particularly quickly.
LK: I know...I just wondered if you in anyway can
have any sort of normal life three years on. Can you...does
it...it...it must always, it’s just always there isn’t it,
all in the forefront of your mind.
KM: I mean it is always there and obviously
Madeleine’s in our life every day, but we do have, you know,
periods of normality, in fact I’d say we just .. it’s just
change and that’s a different kind of normality now, I mean
we still have...Gerry obviously works full time erm
you know, we still have to do the cooking and washing, we’ve
got Sean and Amalie and we have lots of time with them, we
go on trips, they go swimming
LK So you do...you’re able to do this normal family
things, you know, you have gone back to work as as you said,
but there ...there’s almost this thing ...sometimes do you
feel almost guilty about enjoying yourselves sometimes, you
know, or laughing or having fun with the twins ... you
...is..is..do you sometimes feel like that?
KM: Yeah definitely, I think erm, sometimes you can
be having a really good time, and... suddenly you realise
it’s actually tinged and it will suddenly stop yer and you
know, we had a lovely day last week and erm...you know it
was really sunny and we can smell the grass and it’s been
cut and I thought, oh it’s really nice and then it just
kinda...kinda ...gets yer know...Madeleine’s still not here.
LK (talking to GM) And you’ve gone back to work, was
that difficult for you? Did you sense people’s awkwardness
around you or did that dissipate quite quickly?
GM: Ye...er...it was a little bit awkward at
the beginning but at that time I think...I found it
much easier when I’m mentally active when I’m doing things,
both from a campaign point of view and work wise as well,
erm...and...it was actually difficult when we were arguido
and wasn’t so much happening, er..it’s...you felt you almost
had your hands tied behind your back somewhat, so it was
definitely the right decision for me to go back I went back
part-time and then erm, built up and filled time and to be
honest most people were just really glad to see me and most
of the patients initially have been quite reserved or just
left messages with er the staff. But it was awkward in
those early months when I went back and I was doing ward
rounds and quite often here would be Madeleine on the front
page of the newspapers or ourselves and various other things
erm, so that was a little bit awkward but generally it’s not
been a problem.
LK: Because sometimes people don’t really know what
to say to you, you know, there’s that, that sensible {?}
they’re not quite sure ... you know, they want to say how
sorry they are or they’re thinking of you but they don’t
quite know how to broach the subject, it’s quite difficult
it’s...
KM: I think it is difficult, I think it, you know, it
depends on the person really, erm, some people feel
comfortable coming and asking yer how it’s going, other
people are just kinda tap you on the arm and say thinking of
you and other people feel they shouldn’t invade your privacy
bu...
LK: Does it help when people....
KM: It does. I ..I mean, I’ve said all along really,
actually makes me feel better when people acknowledge
Madeleine essentially ermm...
LK: Yeah, that’s true
GM: I think it’s very important as well that er
a lot of times people want to skip around it, don’t know to
mention it or not and of course we live with this everyday
of our life and it’s a huge part of it and er...and...and
that even applies to friends and people as well who you
know, you haven’t seen for a while erm, and also we spent so
much of our our time outside particularly when the
kids are in bed actually thinking about ways how we can
improve the search and keep it going.
LK: Mmm...Because that’s really what this is all
about and the search has to keep going on – What sort of
stage is the investigation at or what sort of stage is the
campaign at right now?
GM: From an investigation point of view erm, I think
it’s fairly important to say that from law enforcement
they’re not doing anything actively and haven’t been for a
long time and that’s incredibly frustrating so we’ve had our
small team working away in the background and erm, in terms
of new leads I think we’ve put out most of the important
information that we had this time last year, we had a very
good response and most of those leads have been worked
probably er as much as we can with Dave and his team. So at
this point what we’re really trying to do is to get the
government to review everything and it’s very difficult
because a lot of information held in, in with British police
there’s a lot in Portugal, it’s not all in one file whereas
other information we’ve got we’re happy to make available
but there hasn’t been a comprehensive review, there hasn’t
been anything about which lines of enquiry
er...(unintelligible)... for the investigation and that’s
just something we feel is fundamental and should happen and
it’s not right that an innocent , you know, vulnerable
British citizen is, is essentially given up on, and I don’t
think it’s right that as parents that we have to drive the
search – Of course we will but yer know, not everyone has
had the same resources and support that we’ve had to be able
to do that and I think it’s pretty cruel.
LK: very frustrating, for, for both of you and
another aspect of it is the kind of criticism that
you’ve come in for as well, erm, there’s been a lot of that
and that must be very, very difficult to deal with, I mean
you’ve got a lot at the start about the fact that you, you
left the kids and you’d gone off and had a meal and all of
that had happened and then you know, even to this day you
know, there are people who are convinced are convinced that
you had something to do with it, how on earth do you deal
with that?
KM: I think, I mean I think it’s changed erm,
certainly we don’t get the same level of criticism that we
did and even then, to be fair, it was the minority really I
think most people even if, you know, they don’t agree with,
with, you know, what we did then they wouldn’t feel it right
or fair to add to our suffering erm
LK: Because it does doesn’t it, it does add to your
suffering...
KM: Absolutely and particularly in the early weeks
and months, you know, I wasn’t expecting it because all I
can see, you know, our daughter’s been taken and she’s been
subjected to something terrifying and that’s the most
important thing so for people to start you know, shouting as
us when really we needed to keep the focus on Madeleine ...
LK: Of course, absolutely
KM: But having said that I mean I think there’s just
a small minority now and you know there’s a certain group
out there who, this is their job really, is to pick on a
vulnerable family and I’m sure after us they’ll move onto
another family and...
GM: That’s very interesting I think anyone who’s in
the public eye for whatever reason gets criticised and early
on when we were campaigning er you know, you would say Oh my
goodness we’re getting criticised for doing this and doing
that and you start to let that influence what you’re doing
but then you realise you get criticised for whatever you do
from some quarter
LK: Yes
GM: and what you need to do is make decisions for the
right reason and do it with the best intention and really
stick to yer guns, take advice but ultimately we make our
own decisions but I think probably more than anything I’d
say is, you know, after ... if we could turn back the clock
and change what happened obviously we wouldn’t have done it,
we can’t and what I would say is you know, people have
got to put themselves into your positions. What would
you do if it was your daughter? Afterwards what would you
do?
{{The
following was a bit confusing because Lorraine Kelly kept
talking over what Gerry McCann was saying}}
LK: You’d move heaven and earth (GM: Yeah so
that’s what...) and you’d do everything you possibly
could, everything you possible could (GM: that’s what
we’re trying to do ) just what you’re doing of course (GM:
as much as possible) yeah
GM...and er, er, trying to er think of ....just
constantly ways where we could improve things or, or get
additional things done.
LK: You did this pack (holds up a holiday pack of
Madeleine) that is specifically aimed at people going on
holiday anywhere, it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t have to be
Portugal it can be absolutely anywhere and in the pack
there’s posters people can put up, there’s a stickers,
there’s bookmarks, there’s all of this so again this is
about you being pro active and you try to do as much as you
can. They can get this on your website can’t they?
GM: yeah
KM: yeah
LK: Yeah, so they can get a hold of that and
hopefully that’s again just going to keep everything in the
public eye, that’s what you want to do, keep her name there
GM: It comes...er...a lot of what we’ve done is er,
taking advice from the National Centre for Missing and
Exploited Children in Washington and it’s very much about
keeping her image out there, that’s really important
Madeleine so there’s an age progression photograph there
which was released last year, just other things, car
stickers and it’s simple things, who knows who will end up
seeing her er, but if you don’t have her image out there
then it’s less likely.
LK: Yooouuu...er...like I say, is very, very, very,
very, difficult for both of you, it’s been absolutely
horrendous...you’ve, you’ve stayed at home haven’t you Kate,
you’ve stayed at home looking after the twins. How much do
the twins know? How much are they aware of because they’re
five now
KM: Er, they know quite a lot, we’ve kind
of...it’s changed a little bit initially for them they’d say
where’s Madeleine, Madeleine’s lost...erm...then as they got
older and started to ask more questions then obviously the
picture’s unfolded a little bit for them and basically, I
think it was last year wasn’t it (glances at Gerry) erm,
Amalie said to me you know, has Madeleine run away mummy?
And erm, she kept asking me in a public place (LK:
Awww) so it was a bit tricky at first, and she said: because
it’s not nice to run away. And that, that really upset me
because I thought because I didn’t want her to think that
Madeleine’s at fault here, so probably (glances at GM) about
the third time she asked me, when we were at home rather
than in a supermarket, erm, we just explained really that
someone had taken Madeleine but we tried to obviously make
them understand it in as gentler way as possible so... (LK:
you don’t want to frighten them do you, you don’t want to
make them scared) ...so it was a little bit like you know,
stealing really, (LK: right) so we said, just because
you really want something or you really like something, if
it belongs to somebody else you shouldn’t take it, so that’s
how they understand it, so that they know somebody’s taken
her and they actually, they know it’s wrong you know.
LK: Can you still, do you still have a, I mean
three years is a long time, you’ve still got her image in
your head, can you still hear her?
KM: Yeah, I mean obviously the image we have of is,
you know, the Madeleine that we knew, so Madeleine at four
days...you know...four years minus nine days, erm (glances
at Gerry) and I can still hear her voice and obviously we
have video film (LK: of course) of her and you know, every
so many months we sit down and we’ll watch that really and
...
LK: Oh that must be...en...(unintelligible)...
someone’s comfort thing and (unintelligible) very, very
difficult to do that.
GM: Sean and Amalie like watching the stuff of us and
they’ve watched old video’s of us and they’ve put it all
together now you know...the temporal sequence of events and
they know about, they went to Portugal, they went to bed and
Madeleine was taken and just to expand a bit on what Kate
says they know, they believe that, you know, it, it was a
man that took her and it’s a naughty man and we need to try
and find him so it’s part of what they say that mummy’s
working er to help find Madeleine
KM: Er Sean said to us his little friend in
school, she said, she said: Kate you a doctor? And Sean just
came in and said: mummy was a doctor but her doc..er...job
now is to find Madeleine, you know, kind of, erm, he was
just straight, and er, so they understand what we’re doing
and why we’re doing it and they understand that we’ve got a
lot of support, you know, they’ll constantly spot things
like a car sticker or a luggage tag or a wristband and
they’ll point it out and you know, say look they’re helping
mum too ....so...
LK: Are you convinced she’s still out there
somewhere?
KM: Certainly, in my heart I feel she’s out there and
there’s, there’s...I mean I know there’s nothing to say that
she isn’t and so we have to carry on working and thinking
like that, I mean logically, you know, I mean, I can’t say,
none of us can say for definite other than the people
involved, but erm, I know we can’t give up because there’s
no evidence to say she’s not so.....
LK: that’s what I was going to say to you. Do you
think there’ll ever be a time when you say enough is enough,
we’ve done all we can, there’s no more we can do.
KM: We can’t. I mean if they haven’t found Madeleine,
if we don’t know what’s happened, you haven’t done enough, I
mean there’s obviously more that can be done and it might
just be time, you know, it might just be, you know, there
could be a group of people out there who are sitting with
this on their conscien...you know ... with this on their
conscience and every time Madeleine is mentioned or every
time there’s an image, again it’s just pricking their
conscience and it might just be, you know, as I say, a
question of time until they come forward, the situation
might change and they may then feel comfortable to come
forward so...just keep going...
GM: As hard as it is there are lots of examples,
particularly from the States, of children who have been
abducted at a younger age and kept for a long time. I think
the key thing is you (shouldn’t that be ‘we’?) don’t know
who’s taken her and what the motive is and until we find
that person, it’s very hard but, you’ve just gotta keep
going and keep working away but more importantly we need to
have a proper review of all the information, that’s how
we’ll move the investigation forward and at the end of
the day, the person that’s taken Madeleine is still out
there they’re er, a potential danger to other children so
they need to be brought to justice.
KM: We do this, you know, in medicine, you know, if
there’s a case you don’t seem to be getting a diagnoses
someone will come in and review it, they’ll go back to
square one, they’ll go through all the information or the
data or the results that you’ve got and work through it and
that’s when you find out what else needs to be done and it
will help point you in the right direction so ...
LK: And its...will be her birthday soon. What will
you do that day?
KM: I was just explaining to someone before, her
birthday is actually a much more difficult day for us than,
you know, the 3rd of May. The 3rd of May really is just,
it’s another day without Madeleine erm but the 12th is
obviously a day when we should be celebrating Madeleine,
celebrating with Madeleine erm, I mean, last year we had a
little tea party, we had close family and Madeleine’s
friends round, erm and I guess we’ll probably do something
similar. It’s a little bit different this year because Sean
and Amalie are in school but after school we can have a
little tea party or something
LK: Thank you both for coming in and talking to us.
Erm, like, you know, like everyone else I just hope for a
happy ending one day. Thank you very much indeed and we’ll
be thinking of you. Thank you so much. |
