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Thursday Madeleine Beth
McCann disappeared from the family Holiday apartment in
Praia da Luz. Kate McCann raised the alarm at 10pm. |
THURSDAY, MAY 3: Milk
and biscuits for the kids. I left them with this
and books and games and went to have a quick
shower/wash my hair. M (Madeleine) tired'
sitting on my lap' I read the story of Mog
(favourite children's book).
Brush teeth. To the bedroom with the kids. M
pulls away and puts her head on pillow. Kisses
goodnight for M. Pulled the door to as far as
possible without shutting it. Silence.
Dry hair. Put make-up on. Glass of wine.
Restaurant.
(During dinner nearby with friends 'dubbed the
Tapas 7 'the group
took turns to check the children. At 10pm Kate
discovers Madeleine gone. The McCann's and
helpers frantically scour the area until 4am.)
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Day 02 - 05/05/2007
Saturday |
TO |
Day 03 - 06/05/2007 Sunday |
No Update |
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Statement read by Kate
McCann
given today Monday 7 May at 2pm
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Day 05 - 08/05/2007 |
Tuesday |
No Update |
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1st - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
LAUNCHED AS |
www.bringmadeleinehome.com
Reuters |
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Day 07 - 10/05/2007
Thursday |
TO |
Day 08 - 11/05/2007
Friday |
No Update |
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MADELEINE'S BIRTHDAY STATEMENT FROM MARK WARNER HOLIDAYS
ISSUED ON BEHALF OF THE MCCANN FAMILY
8am Saturday 12th of May
2007
Madeleine's 4th Birthday
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SATURDAY, MAY 12:
(Madeleine's birthday)
Madeleine is four
years old. Day at resort with
holiday group. Special Mass for Madeleine at
18.00 in Praia da Luz. |
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Day 10 - 13/05/2007
Sunday |
TO |
Day 12 - 15/05/2007
Tuesday |
No Update |
MONDAY,
MAY 14:
I slept well last night after a
not very good end of the day, frustration with the
FLO (Portuguese police family liaison officer)
asking me where would my little M be.
I got up at
06.50. I dealt with some trifles and got myself
ready for the statement to the press at 08.00.
I tried to put
on a slightly more presentable and 'healthy' air.
Gerry again gave a great performance.
Following on we
answered about four questions. I almost responded to
the first one asking how we were, but I didn't. I
did answer a question on our possible return home. I
replied that obviously I didn't even think about
that. Anyway, it seemed to have gone well. After
breakfast and our having left S and A, (twins Sean
and Amelie, then aged two) we went to church to pray
in silence. Very good, calming.
After getting
back I decided to go running' for the first time
since THE day (already 11 days ago). I knew that it
was going to be physically difficult, but I also
knew that I wasn't going to give up, because it was
for Madeleine and also because the level of pain is
far higher now.
No cameras or
journalists, which was great. I went running towards
the beach and then along it and again climbed that
hill so steep 'without stopping! (I carried a photo
of M in my hand to keep me going.) On the last hill
past the tennis courts my legs completely weak, but
I managed to keep myself walking. I managed to reach
the apartment then time to stop' to think' I felt
really quite calm. |
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2nd - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
REGISTERED AS |
www.findmadeleine.com
LINKED TO |
www.bringmadeleinehome.com |
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'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone
Unturned'
This includes Ł50,000 donated by Portsmouth football
club.
Funds taken over the counters of NatWest & RBS, along
with the donations made by cheque, have not yet hit the
account.
Further updates will be provided on Monday 21st May 2007
The family of Madeleine McCann are
to-day launching the Madeleine’s Fund: Leaving No Stone
Unturned appeal. The funds will be used to
help find Madeleine McCann, support her family and bring her
abductors to justice. Any surplus funds will be used to help
families and missing children in United Kingdom, Portugal
and elsewhere in similar circumstances.
From this morning, Thursday May 17th:
·
members of the public will be able to make donations to
'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited'
over-the-counter in any branch of NatWest and The Royal Bank
of Scotland.
From now:
·
Postal Donations can be made with cheques payable to
'Madeleine's Fund : Leaving No Stone Unturned'.
Cheques should be posted to the following address:
‘Madeleine’s Fund’
c/o The International Family Law Group
26 Southampton Street
Covent Garden
London
WC2E 7RS
Internet donations can be made into the following account:
'Madeleine's Fund :
Leaving No Stone Unturned'
Branch
Natwest
PO BOX 113
Cavell House
2A Charing Cross Road
London
WC2H ONN
Sort Code 60 40 05.
Account Number 32130058
Internet banking donations from abroad
IBAN :
GB63 NWBK 6040 0532 1300 58
or
IBAN : GB63NWBK60400532130058
Sort Code :
60 – 40 – 05
Account number :
32130058
Iban bic :
NWBKGB2L
All donations will be processed free of charge.
Funds will be paid to Madeleine's Fund:
Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited: Company Registration
Number - 6248215
3.
The objects of the Foundation are:
3.1.1
To secure the safe return to her family of Madeleine McCann
who was abducted in Praia da Luz, Portugal on Thursday 3rd
May 2007;
3.1.2 To procure that
Madeleine’s abduction is thoroughly investigated and that
her abductors, as well as those who played or play any part
in assisting them, are identified and brought to
justice; and
3.1.3 To provide support,
including financial assistance, to Madeleine’s family.
3.2 If the above objects
are fulfilled then the objects of the Foundation shall be to
pursue such purposes in similar cases arising in the United
Kingdom, Portugal or elsewhere. |
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Trade mark Filing date for
Madeleine's Fund: Leaving
No Stone Unturned |
Case details for Trade Mark 2456061
Intellectual
Property Office |
Mark text:
Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned
Status
Status: Registered
Classes: 09, 16, 36, 41
Relevant dates
Filing date: 18 May 2007
Next renewal date: 18 May 2017
Registration date: 22 February 2008
List of goods or services
Class 09: Downloadable internet publications
Class 16: Printed matter
Class 36: Charitable fundraising; charitable and
non-charitable services relating to the provision of
assistance to families and others affected by
missing children.
Class 41: Non-downloadable internet publications
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Website Update at 19:18PM
on 19th of May 2007
97 Million hits!
Fund Update
Latest Update - ITV News
Madeleine parents
believe she is safe
The parents of missing
four-year-old Madeleine McCann said they had taken
"tremendous strength" from the "warmth and spiritual
outpouring" from all around the world.
Gerry and Kate McCann issued a brief
statement from the Portuguese holiday resort of Praia da Luz
11 days after their little girl disappeared from their hotel
room.
The pair said they were "fully supporting"
the police investigation into their daughter's abduction and
reaffirmed their belief that their daughter is safe.
Mr McCann said: "Until there is concrete
evidence to the contrary, we believe Madeleine is safe and
is being looked after".
Madeleine's mother also emphasised that
the couple had no intention of returning to Britain from
Portugal in the immediate future.
A British legal team has flown to Praia da
Luz to help them and has launched a special "fighting fund"
to help in the hunt for Madeleine.
A statement from the International Family
Law Group, the firm instructed by the McCanns, said details
of how people could make donations would be released within
days.
A QC, Michael Nicholls, has also been
instructed by the family as their determined battle to find
Madeleine enters another week.
Madeleine's uncle John McCann, who lives
in Glasgow but was in Praia da Luz last week, said the
lawyers would play a liaison role and would not interfere
with the criminal investigation.
A spokesman for the International Family
Law Group said yesterday: "Gerry and Kate are very grateful
for all the support and generous offers of help that they
are receiving.
"Details of how contributions can be made
to help get Madeleine back to the safety of her own family
will be made available in the next couple of days."
The McCanns were among around ten British
people who have been re-interviewed by police in recent days
to clarify their statements.
This week some of the witnesses are
expected to appear in court behind
closed doors to record their evidence
before they go back to the UK. The McCanns themselves are
not expected to be asked to take part.
The procedure, known as "memory for the
future", means taped statements can be shown during a future
trial so the witnesses do not have to return to appear in
court. |
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A Day to day life for the McCann's
Our day starts around 6.30am with us all waking up around
the same time. We have breakfast with Sean and Amelie and
our close family/friends who are here with us. Then its
clean nappies and clothes for Sean and Amelie followed by
showers etc for the rest of us.
Usually there’s some free time then for a few stories or
games with the twins before heading out.
9.00-9.15 We take Sean and Amelie to Kids’ Club. They really
enjoy it and run in.
They know the staff well and the staff are all excellent.
Both love the domestic corner and Amelie particularly likes
to look after ‘babies’. We use the kids club a bit like
nursery at home but we think Sean and Amelie still think
they are on holiday!
9.30~12.15. We return to the apartments, usually for a
series of meetings with our press officer, Mark Warner Reps,
occasionally Consulate staff, lawyers and British Liaison
officers. During this time we catch up with family and close
friends, usually by telephone and discuss ideas how to keep
Madeleine’s profile high especially throughout continental
Europe.
12.30 Time to pick up Sean and Amelie from Kids’ club then
head back to apartment for lunch, which has usually been
prepared by one of our family/friends group who have been
tremendously supportive.
13.30 –14.30 This is time to spend time playing with the
twins either in the apartment or in the play area next to
kids club.
14.30-15.00 Usually we take the twins back to Kids’ Club
although Sean has had the odd afternoon in the apartment as
it’s a bit cooler and he’s not much of a sun worshipper!
They have been taking part in many different activities
including painting, singing, stories, swimming, trips to the
beach and they have lots of toys to play with.
15.00~17.00 We try to get some time together alone, going
for a walk to talk things over or getting some exercise.
This is often the time for quiet trips to the church for
prayers.
17.00-17.30 Meet kids for high tea with other mums and dads.
They love pasta and have been doing really well with their
vegetables although a few chips have been squeezed in.
17.30-18.30. Games with kids at play area. Amelie loves
trying to get in the baby pool!
18.30-19.30 Bath and story time with the twins.
20.00 We put the kids to bed.
20.30-23.00 We try to sit down for a family meal, again
usually cooked by one of the small family group out here
with us. Chat about the day’s events and plan the next day
23.30 bed and prayer for Madeleine that she will be returned
to us safely
ASAP.
In addition to above we try to attend various church
services
during the week, and make multiple phone calls to family and
friends. We try to watch the main news
early morning and late evening but have had almost no time
to read
the newspapers or even look at the pictures!
Kate is a keen runner and in the last few days has tried to
include a run in the
daily routine. Yesterday (Sat) at 7am we ran to the monument
at the top of the steep cliff overlooking Praia de
Luz. We reached it in 19 minutes. |
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Day 18 - 21/05/2007
Monday |
TO |
Day 19 22/05/2007
Tuesday |
No Update |
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1st Version 23 May 2007
Today Kate and I went to the Shrine at Fatima
to pray for Madeleine´s safe return. It was another early
start leaving at 6.30am.
MarkWarner,
who have
looked after us so well, laid on a car
and driver. We managed to continue the campaign with
telephone conversations and e-mails. The actual visit
was very
encouraging
with the rector and thousands of pilgrims
praying for Madeleine as well Kate and I. We lit candles for
Madeleine and also 3 for Madeleine’s grandparents. The trip
received a lot of publicity
which should help maintain the profile of her abduction.We
are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow
although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we
need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas
of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance
has been limited. |
WEDNESDAY, MAY 23:
Gordon Brown (then Chancellor
and PM in waiting) called and spoke with Gerry -very
kind and giving encouragement.
Feeling a bit emotional
afterwards.
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2nd version
24 May 2007
Today Kate and I went to the Shrine at
Fatima to pray for Madeleine´s safe return. It was another
early start leaving at 6.30am.
Mark Warner,
who have looked after us so well, laid
on a car and driver. We managed to continue the
campaign with telephone conversations and e-mails. The
actual visit
was veryencouraging
with the rector and thousands of pilgrims
praying for Madeleine as well Kate and I. We lit candles for
Madeleine and also 3 for Madeleine’s grandparents.
The trip received a lot of
publicity which should help maintain the profile of her
abduction. We are planning a relatively quiet day tomoorow
although the British Ambaasador is coming to visit and we
need to start finalising our plans for interviews in areas
of Europe where the coverage of Madeleine’s disappaerance
has been limited. |
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Day 22: 25/05/2007-
Friday
No Update |
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Yesterday was relatively quiet
although we did meet the British ambassador and the senior
British Police Officer who has been working here in
Portugal
on the case. This was a productive meeting.
There was a flurry of activity amongst the media here
stating the family was openly critical of the Portuguese
policed which was not true. We did our best to dampen this
down but a couple of papers carried stories with our
‘frustration’ with the investigation rather than what we
said it was frustrating that 3 weeks down the line we still
have not got Madeleine back. This would be the case which
ever country we were in. Some of you may have noticed that
Sean and Amelie did manage to
squeeze in a hair cut!
Today was extremely busy and tiring. We met with our
press officer Clarence Mitchell, to discuss strategy for the
fortcoming
interviews. Kate attended a luncheon in aid
of International Missing Child day and John, my brother,
attended a similar event in
London. After this John and Brian Kennedy,
Kate’s uncle, who are both directors of Madeleine’s fund
appointed an interim fund manager. We are now actively
looking for a campaign manager who will be needed once our
government press officer disappears. The interviews were
our first for TV and we were happy how they went. We did 10
min interviews for Sky, BBC, ITV, Portuguese TV/radio and
one for the press association. A shorter interview with GM
TV will be shown on Monday morning along with stuff from our
fabulous web team. The interviewers were very kind but did
not shirk from asking us some extremely difficult questions.
We answered them all and although painful will allow us to
move on in our search for Madeleine. Importantly, shortly
after our interviews finished the Portuguese Police held a
press conference and gave details of man they would like to
interview who was seen carrying a child on the night of
Madeleine’s disappearance. We have not had a transcript of
what was said but this is an encouraging development and
hopefully will result in further calls to the police with
information from people who were in Praia
da
Luz around the time of Madeleine’s
abduction. We remain very optimistic that the criminal
investigation will lead to Madeleine’s safe return but we
need everyone to be alert and vigilant to any suspicious
activity.
Tomorrow will be a family day. We are doing
a photo-shoot with the twins for the Sunday newspapers in
the morning but will involve stuff that we want to do with
them anyway. We also need to recharge our batteries after
what has been a very busy week. |
DAY 23
26/05/2007 |
3rd - OFFICIAL WEBSITE
REGISTERED AS |
www.cuddlecat.co.uk - LINKED TO |
www.findmadeleine.com -
LINKED TO |
www.bringmadeleinehome.com |
Domain tools |
SATURDAY,
MAY 26:
We went to an amusement park
with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a
very good day for either the two of us' some dark
thoughts/ frustrations/ desperation creeping in.
Some tears.
(Then in a moving little message to Madeleine) I
love you so much XXX
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Strange day after all the activity during
the week. Kate and I started off with an early morning run
to the
the
top of the nearby cliffs. Sean and
Amelie
were back in kids club and went swimming
again. The rest of us attended mass which was very emotional
as a priest from RAF
Lossiemouth was visiting and
further prayers were said for Madeleine. Father Zee-Manuel
has also rigged up a
powerpoint display projecting a
large photograph of Madeleine on to the wall, which he is
very proud of and reminds us of the beautiful little girl we
are missing so terribly.
There have been some
requests for more information ‘about Madeleine’ and this
section will be updated very soon. We will also be releasing
a very short video of Madeleine taken at the Airport on the
day we left for
Portugal,
Saturday 28 April. Sean and
Amelie went to the beach this
afternoon with mummy,
auntie
Trisha and Anne but daddy stayed in the
apartment catching up on campaign e-mails, making calls and
liaising with Clarence our press officer. The resort is much
busier again as it is half-term and there are definitely
less journalists here. Many of them have been here since the
beginning and are making this journey with us.
The couple of Sunday articles we read did not cover much
of what we talked about and seemed to get some of the other
stuff wrong! We stated that Sean and
Amelie are sleeping in our room (in separate cots) because
of other family staying with us and that we were trying to
treat them as normal and not be overprotective. This came
out that we were so protective we have to have them sleeping
in our bed! These inaccuracies are not important in our
search for Madeleine and the next phase is being planned
currently.
It looks like our planned trips to other
European cities will start off in
Rome after we
learned today that the Pope has been following Madeleine’s
abduction closely. There is a reasonable chance we may get a
chance to meet the Pontiff and that he will pray for
Madeleine. Such a visit would generate huge publicity
regarding the family campaign to find Madeleine and will
also give Kate and I a great spiritual lift. It will also raise the awareness of
missing and abused children generally. We continue to pray
that someone will provide the key information that leads us
to Madeleine. |
SUNDAY,
MAY 27:
Clarence (Clarence Mitchell,
Foreign Office family liaison at the time) spoke to
us about a possible trip to the Vatican. It seems
that it really is going to happen' main story on the
news!
Spoke to Dad. I went for a walk to the beach with
Sean and Amelie. Frozen. Beach' slippery, wet feet.
We all had dinner when we got back to the apartment.
We have to keep looking. We have to find you beloved
xxxxx.
(Kate signed off the day's entry by drawing a heart
with 'I LOVE MADELEINE' inside.)
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Confirmation arrived this
evening that we are to attend the Vatican and a service with
The Pope. It is likely we will be seated in the front row
and may have an opportunity to speak with the Holy Father
and ask for prayers for Madeleine. This is a hugely
important visit both personally, for Kate and I, but also
for the wider campaign to publicise Madeleine’s
disappearance. The trip has been facilitated through
Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor and we will be receiving
assistance from the British Embassy whilst in Rome. On this
occasion because of the short notice and the relatively
early time of the service we have accepted the kind offer of
the use of Sir Philip Green’s personal jet, which will help
get us home quickly after our Papal visit to see the twins
before their bedtime. We will be accompanied by a small
group of media who are still with us in Praia da Luz and, as
usual all the material will be available to all the British
press and broadcasters equally. For all trips we are
assessing whether commercial flights can get us to our
destination and back to Portugal quickly. This will NOT be a
Tour- it is a series of very brief visits with the specific
aim of raising awareness and we aim to get back here as
quickly as possible.
We have decided that for the
majority of trips it will not be practicable, or fair, to
take Sean and Amelie with us. They have an established
routine which we do not want to disrupt and will be looked
after by very close family. Tonight for the first time they
have gone to sleep in their own single beds, rather than
cots, now that another two of our family have gone home. We
were planning to turn their cots at home into beds after our
1 week holiday but obviously this has been delayed with
Madeleine’s abduction. We have been in Praia da Luz for over
4 weeks and Sean and Amelie’s development from toddlers to
little boy and girl continues. Madeleine will really notice
the difference when she sees them!
Some of you may have seen on the news the
huge inflatable billboard which has travelled all the way
from the West of Scotland to Portugal which will be used
near busy roads/motorways to keep Madeleine’s disappearance
high profile. We had a brief chat with Chris and Les, who
drove almost non-stop from Glasgow to get here. The
extraordinary length ordinary people are going to help us is
truly overwhelming. We thank everyone for their efforts, no
matter how small, and we know this will make a difference in
our search for Madeleine. |
Pope was so gentle and so sincere
DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she
and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican
on May 30.
On May 28 she
wrote: 'I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to
be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and
to return to our normal life.'
Two days later
her diary recalls: 'Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his
'pope mobile' waving to everyone. It immediately
became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of
our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.
'I thanked him
for having allowed us to be there with him. He said
he would pray for us and that he would continue to
pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave
him the photo of Madeleine' he blessed it (with the
thumb)' something that we would be able to keep for
ever. A shy man but very friendly.
'Very emotional, very positive, very important'
charming.
'Please, God,
bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so
much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us
to be united once again shortly as a family.
'Later on,
Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me
that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly
had flown above and had landed on the bow on my
hair.
'Following on,
it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An
omen, we hope.' |
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We have been preoccupied with
preparation for our audience with the Pope tomoorow morning.
This morning was spent acquiring some appropriate dress for
the meeting since we had only holiday clothes with us in
Portugal. Clarence has been inundated with calls regarding
the visit to Rome and done most of the organisation behind
the scenes.
It has been very difficult to leave Sean
and Amelie but it is only for one nght and we will be back
to see them before bedtime tomorrow. Trish and Sandy
(Madeleine’s Godparents) who have been with us in Portugal
since Day 2 are looking after them and we were surprised to
hear they were tucked up in bed by 7.30pm- they must like
their new beds!
The flight to Rome passed extremely
quickly and some footage was taken for TV. We did a couple
of short interviews for the British and Portuguesae press
about our feelings regarding the trip. Under normal
circumstances we would be extremely excited about meeting
the Pope, but as we are here as a result of Madeleine’s
abduction the circumstances are very different. We expect to
receive a great spiritual lift, especially if we get to
speak to the Pontiff personally. After the audience we will
be holding a short press conference in the British Embassy
to the Vatican to talk about our campaign to publicise
Madeleine’s disappearance and of course, our audience with
the Pope.
Frncis Campbell, the British ambassador to
the Holy See, and his staff picked us at the airport and
brought us directly to the Embassy residences near the city
centre. We have been made to feel completely at ease and
almost as if we are part of a small family here, which has
helped ease our tangible nerves, not unsurprising given the
importance of tomorrow’s meeting. We are now retiring and
will be saying our usual prayers for Madeleine’s safe return
|
DAY 26 - 29/05/2007 |
4th- OFFICIAL WEBSITE
REGISTERED AS |
www.cuddlecat.org.uk - LINKED TO |
www.cuddlecat.co.uk - LINKED TO |
www.findmadeleine.com - LINKED
TO |
www.bringmadeleinehome.com |
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Today has gone as well as we
could possibly imagine.
We woke around 7.15am and got ourselves ready. There was
a lovely continental breakfast prepared but both Kate and I
ate very little due to nerves. We left the Embassy just
after 9.00am and stopped en route to the Vatican, at Piazza
Pia for a photo opportunity with St Peters in the distance.
I made a very short statement regarding our forthcoming
visit and expressed my gratitude to Francis Campbell, the
British Ambassador to the Vatican, and his staff for making
us feel as if we were part of their family.
We
arrived in plenty of time for the Papal audience and were
delighted to find we were seated in the ‘Prima Fila’- the
first row. Clarence, Francis and Monsingneur Charlie Burns,
a colourful Glaswegian who teaches at the seminary and looks
after the Ambassador’s spiritual well being were seated
immediately behind us. It was extremely sunny and I have to
admit that Kate and I were struggling somewhat with the heat
in our dark suits but Francis rescued us with an umbrella
and some water and following that some heavy cloud rolled
in, cooling us down.
The atmosphere in St Peter’s
square was almost carnival like with up to 35,000 people
there to see the Pope. He did not disappoint, driving slowly
around the crowd in his open jeep, waving cheerfully. We
were sombre in contrast given that we were there to ask
Benedict to pray for Madeleine, although I am sure others
were also there to get blessings for their loved ones. After
this the Pontiff took his seat in front of approximately 30
cardinals, bishops and priests. One of the priests, Father
Daniel Gallagher from the US, came up to us before the
service and said some very kind words; that he was praying
and everyone was praying for Madeleine daily.
The
service started with a series of addresses from priests
representing the various French, German, Italian, English,
Spanish and Polish speaking congregations present. Each
parish represented was mentioned and various bands, mainly
German, played short pieces and a few choirs sang a verse
and the large Polish contingent priests seated behind us
wearing large yellow scarves tied like ribbons around theirs
necks sang 3 or 4! At the end of this preamble the priest
stated that the Pope was happy to tell us he was praying for
the congregation, our families, our children and those who
were suffering. These words seemed so poignant in the light
of Madeleine’s abduction and naturally both Kate and I were,
naturally, very emotional. The Pope’s actual address seemed
to pass in a blur and I am looking forward to reading the
actual transcript as I can remember very little of the
actual words.
Following the completion of the Papal
address in the different languages, Benedict individually
greeted the other clergy on the dias. During this period
Father Gallagher presented us with a small gift to remind us
that he would pray daily for Madeleine and a cardinal also
expressed similar sentiments. The Pope took approximately 20
minutes to meet other people in the Prima Fila before
reaching us. It felt as if time stood still for a moment
when the Pope looked into our faces and there was almost
instant recognition and a change in his expression. He said
he would pray for us, our family and Madeleine. Kate passed
him a photograph of Madeleine and he blessed this and would
pray for her safe returning. The meeting was more personal
than we could have imagined given the number of people there
and will help us sustain our hope and determination to find
Madeleine.
The press conference followed shortly
afterwards and was very well attended. We will give more
details tomorrow as we are very tired following our visit
and hope to get an early night before planning our next
trip. |
WEDNESDAY, MAY 30:
(After trip to see Pope
detailed above) The kids went to
bed again around 9pm!!! Low point of tonight'
becoming desperate/without hope because of the lack
of information. They are acting like they have no
leads at all. Very worried.
Tomorrow it will be 4 weeks since Madeleine was
taken. Four weeks since we saw our special little
girl. We are not certain that we will ever see her
again, but know that we have to keep up our hope and
strength' for the others, at least. Exhausted.
I love you so much, Madeleine. You must come back! X
|
|
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|
Press conference in Rome went
very well giving us an excellent forum to ask for help in
the search for Madeleine. We told people about the website,
how to download posters and ask people to print them and
take on holiday wherever they are.
We arrived in Madrid late last night and
have a series of meetings arranged with government and non
government agencies concerned with child welfare. We will
also be hosting a press conference again to raise general
awareness of Madeleine´s disappearance and ask for the
public´s help in our search for Madeleine. We may also do a
few very short interviews for US news stations which are
widely broadcast in Europe, N.Africa and Asia, particularly
in English speaking hotels and other outlets. Will update
after meetings. |
|
|
With the help of the British
Embassy we had a very busy day. First of all we had a short
briefing from the ambassador and her staff. We then had a
series of meetings with: multiple non-governmental agencies
involved in child welfare, did a TV programme akin to
Crimewatch focussing on Madeleine’s disappearance, a press
conference which was well attended, a couple of short US
news channel interviews with European coverage and finally
met with the Spanish Minister for the Interior (Home
Secretary equivalent). We left Madrid feeling as if the
Spanish were treating Madeleine’s disappearance like one of
their own.
Meanwhile in Portugal Phil arrived with thousands of
posters in different languages. Most of these have been
delivered to the Irish centre at Fatima and more at Lisbon
airport. Planning a family day tomorrow. Will weigh up next
phase of the search over the weekend. |
FRIDAY,
JUNE 1:
Quite fed up...I can't stop
thinking about Madeleine, about her fear of pain.
How can I go on knowing that her life could have
ended like this'
This week I have been quite overtaken by black
thoughts. Please, God, bring her back.
Bedtime is becoming more and more of a challenge.
|
|
|
|
Relatively quiet day. Did
manage to repsond to some e-mails regarding campaign issues
with some excellent ideas coming through. We did visit a
local beach with Sean, Amelie and the rest of the family who
are here and managed to get a bite to eat. Having a huge
number of media reuests in but want these to be very
focussed in areas that will have clear benefits in the
search for Madeleine. We did do a German TV and newspaper
interview which wiil be released tomorrow to incraese
awareness ahead of our planned visit to Berlin later this
week. Most of the Sunday newspapers will carry some of the
interview as a British reporter sat in and asked a few more
quetions related to the campaign strategy. |
SATURDAY,
JUNE 2:
I can't remember today (which is
now yesterday!). The morning was spent doing
paperwork. I wrote a letter to JK Rowling, asking
for her help in keeping M in the public eye. She has
a new Harry Potter book which will come out in July.
I asked if it would be possible to do something like
a bookmark with M on.
An enjoyable afternoon' I never felt so relaxed. I
felt it was wrong. S and A had fun and that was
important. I also worried about what people might
think, like 'How can they manage to...''
It seems that Sean is liking the beach more these
days. We had tea in a nearby restaurant' good,
despite still thinking that I had to do normal
things without feeling guilty. We left around 7.30pm
and the kids were completely exhausted.
Fed up again 'poor M. Once again it took a long time
before S and A were sorted. Finally went to church
for 10 minutes.
Private worship (despairing!).
Cried again in bed' I can't avoid it. I need her
close to me. Thinking about her fear of pain breaks
my heart. Thinking about paedophiles makes me want
to tear at my own skin. Of course these people, like
psychopaths, aren't 'normal' human beings. I was
never in favour of the death penalty, but these
people should be kept in a secure place. I wouldn't
even complain if it was in nice surroundings, but,
certainly in the case of paedophiles always
distanced from any type of contact with children.
Whose human rights are more important' Those of a
paedophile or of a vulnerable, defenceless child'
|
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|
Was encouraged to learn of the
large volume of information which has come through the
Leicester incident room following the appeal. Hopefully the
Portuguese police will have had a good reponse also and we
hope to meet with them in the next couple of days for an
update. Chris and Les, who travelled over with the huge
inflatable banner which has been positioned near the Spanish
border, are heading home today. They were very happy that
the director of the Algarve tourist board allowed them to
put it up in private property owned by them, with thousands
of cars passing every hour and seeing Madeleine’s image and
details of her disappearance and reward. Sunday papers have
reported our interviews virtually verbatim but vey
disappointed that the blog was lifted almost in entirety by
one newspaper yesterday after expressly forbidding such an
approach! The blog is to keep people visiting the website up
to date with our progress in the campaign to find Madeleine.
|
|
|
Busier day
today with travel arrangements for
Berlin
and
Amsterdam
finalised. Leaving tomorrow night and coming
back Thurs afternoon. It will be a very busy schedule
similar to
Madrid. On
Thurs night there is a music festival in aid of Madeleine in
nearby
Lagos which we
will be attending. Tonigh, we were
interviewed for
Crimeatch which will be shown on BBC1 tomorrow night. This
was a very good opportunity to recap on all the information
which is in the public domain and re-emphasise the appeal,
especially since the description of a suspect seen carrying
a child was released by the Portuguese police after the
initial British appeal. As well as some reports from
Crimewatch, you may see a picture
of me in a green and yellow find Madeleine t-shirt in
tomorrow’s paper. The t-shirts were brought over by Phil and
later on I thought better about wearing it around the resort
she was taken from. I am sure all the people who have chosen
to continue their
holliday
here, rather than take an alternative
location, know about Madeleine’s disappearance and don’t
need a further reminder. |
|
|
Met with the Portuguese Police today. It is good to talk face to face
especially with so much speculation in the media.
Kates parents arrived today to see
the kids and us. We managed to spend a couple of hours with
them before heading off for
Berlin. I had
completely forgotten that it is my birthday
today,
it is anything but a happy one. However Sean
and Amelie
made me a birthday card on behalf of them
and Madeleine and Trisha made a fruit flan. We sang happy
birthday and blew the candles out together which Sean and
Amelie really enjoyed. They were really happy to see Grandma
and Grandad, whom they are used to
seeing every few weeks in
England.
Kates parents have been a huge
help to us, especially since the twins were born, often
driving down to Leicestershire for the weekend to help with
the kids. This has been really important when I have been
on-call at weekends and Kate would have been left looking
after the three of them on her own. Trisha would often fly
down to help when she had a few days off or when
her and Sandy were en route to
Cambridge. It makes us feel better knowing
that we are leaving Sean and
Amelie with very close loved ones
whilst we are away on this short trip to appeal for further
information and raise awareness of Madeleine’s
disappearance.
Arrived in
Berlin.
Another busy programme tomorrow with TV,
press, and politicians to see and then straight on to
Amsterdam for more of the same. It all
helps in the search for Madeleine. |
TUESDAY, JUNE 5:
Woke up relatively late again,
around 7.30am, with a good morning wake-up call from S and
A. Adorable!! I just wish it had been all three of them that
came into the room. After a shower and breakfast, I took S
and A to the Kids' Club. I asked if they could make birthday
cards for their Grandma and Gerry' today is his birthday but
I had forgotten which is not surprising!
|
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|
Today
seemed to go very well with huge interest in our search for
Madeleine. There has also been a little bit of criticism in
the German press about the amount of media coverage but this
did not seem to diminish the level of interest. The German
interviewers are a little more direct with their questions
but I was still surprised by the question as to whether Kate
and I may be involved in Madeleine’s abduction! Hopefully
our answers removed any doubt on that score and that our
sole focus in all of the family campaigning is to get
Madeleine back. After the media we met with a couple of
politicians in private. Firstly, we saw the deputy justice
minister for
Germany
who gave us reassurances regarding the
investigation. Following this we met the Mayor of Berlin who
is a very powerful and charismatic politician. He asked us
what he could do for us and following this meeting asked
German tourists who were in the
Algarve
around the time of Madeleine’s abduction to
come forward. He is very popular and such public backing
should help our appeal. We had to delay our onward flight to
Amsterdam
because of some information received by the
police, which we needed to be consulted on. We diverted to
the embassy in
Berlin but it turned out to be nothing of
interest. We unfortunately had to miss 2 TV programmes as we
arrived in
Amsterdam 3
hours late, very tired and emotionally drained. We did
manage to catch up with a few friends briefly who we know
from the year we lived in
Amsterdam. They have been actively campaigning
here on our behalf with poster distribution, contacting
media and
liasing with companies to get advertising space for large
posters of Madeleine. |
|
|
DATE GERRY USED
Day 35
- 06th June 2007
The press conference,
meetings and appeal on TV today in
Amsterdam all seemed to go well. I doubt there
are many people left in
Europe who do not know of
Madeleine’s disappearance and hopefully everyone who has
information will have come forward to the police. Today was
particularly difficult for Kate and
I because of the year we spent in
Amsterdam
with Madeleine. We have many friend s still
there and could never have imagined coming back without her
in such dreadful circumstances. Afterwards we caught with a
friend of mine who was attending a medical conference in
Amsterdam and a friend who helps run a playgroup that we
attended We arrived back in Portugal and managed to spend
some time with Sean and
Amelie. We then drove to the concert
in
Lagos in aid of Madeleine,
which is the first large public event in
Portugal that I know of supporting
the campaign. It was interesting mix of jazz, blues,
orchestra and rap! We were presented with a painting with
green and yellow hands from a class of
schoolkids- hands of hope. There was a short speech and Kate
thanked tke local
community for their support. The amount of
media coverage Madeleine’s disappearance has received is
phenomenal. After
Morocco
we will have to take stock and decide on our
best strategy. I am not convinced going to other European
countries and holding meetings similar to
Berlin and
Amsterdam
will help. |
THURSDAY,
JUNE 7:
The Press conference went well.
People are always asking how we are managing to
cope, how we can manage to run a campaign, as if we
are strange because we are able to appear calm and
controlled and aren't going under all the time. They
know so little. Nobody should judge or criticise
because, unless they have already been in this
situation, they have NO IDEA how they would be and
certainly NO IDEA how painful it is. NO IDEA AT ALL.
I love you so much Madeleine xxxx
I can't bear this. I can't bear being without
Madeleine. It's like torture' a slow, painful death.
I hope her suffering, if she is suffering, is much
less. Please God |
|
|
|
Quieter day
today.
This was a good chance to catch up with
campaign e-mails and phone calls after the trips to
Berlin
and
Amsterdam. At
lunchtime we went to the release of 1000 yellow balloons at
the beach carrying cards with Madeleine’s picture on it and
information in 5 different languages including
arabic. There were similar
launches in
Manchester and
Madrid. The
event was
organsied by the Sun who, like almost all of the media,
have been incredibly supportive. I told Nick, the Sun
journalist, that we are happy to support all strategies
which increase the chances of finding Madeleine. Later in
the afternoon we went down to the beach and had dinner in
one of the restaurants which Sean and
Amelie
really enjoyed. Sean, in particular has
acquired a taste for sea-bass! Kate and I did a short
interview for BBC East Midlands to thank everyone for their
support and it is likely that this will be shown around most
of the regions, certainly Northwest and BBC Scotland. Kate
and most of the family headed down to the church for the
regular Friday night vigil but I was just too shattered.
Tommorrow will largely be a family day although I am not
sure what we will be doing yet. |
|
|
DATE GERRY USED
Day 37 - 11/06/2007
Kate and I had a slightly busier day on the
media front than expected. We did a short press interview
for the Irish Sunday papers, mainly to thank the Irish for
their fantastic level of support. We followed that with one
for the British Sundays which is likely to be the last one
we do for a while. We talked about our pain of not having
having Madeleine for such a long time and for our need to
grieve, which occurs mainly in private. We also talked about
how after Morocco we will have to spend some time reflecting
both emotionally, and also how best the campaign can be
taken forward. What we want to ensure is that the campaign
has a psoitive effect on finding Madeleine.
After this we headed down to Sagres which is
the very most southwestern tip of Portugal. There is a very
nice beach and we had lunch with the family.
After returning from the beach we did the Irish
version of Crimewatch-‘Crimecall’. There are a lot of Irish
tourists in and around Praia da Luz and although the
awareness of Madeleine’s disappearance in Ireland is
extremely high, we want to ensure that everyone is aware of
the appeal and we want the Irish public to come forward with
photographs of people who they do not know who were in and
around Praia da Luz in the 2 weeks leading up to the 3rd
May. The address to upload photographs is: to
www.madeleine.ceopupload.com .
We have also asked for people to contact
their local police if they have seen a man matching the
description of the suspect carrying a child seen around the
time of Madeleine’s abduction. He is 30-40 years, 1.70-1.80m
(5’7”-11”), caucasian and was wearing a dark jacket, beige
or mustard coloured trousers with dark shoes. No major news
on the investigation front- we still believe it is just a
single phone call away.
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|
We attended mass this morning
and the Bishop had sent a very nice message that he and
everyone else was praying for Madeleine. He also said that
our attitude in this time of adversity was an example for
others. Contrary to some of the headlines in the Sunday
papers the campaign to find Madeleine will not ease up.
Kate’s and my role will be different after
Morocco compared to the last 3
weeks. As I said earlier we will reflect on the
investigation, what the campaign has achieved and where we
will be best directed. We will be less evident in the media,
at least for a few days, unless there is a breakthrough in
the investigation. First of all we have
Morocco. We drove up to
Lisbon late this afternoon to catch a flight to
Casablanca where
embassy officials will meet us. We were surprised to learn
that a 20 seat propeller plane was sent instead of the
larger aircraft. Luckily Kate, Clarence and I got squeezed
on although we were certainly rather apprehensive about
flying on such an aircraft- it reminded us of some of the
internal flights we took in New Zealand in the mid 90’s. The
meeting in
Rabat
will follow a similar itinerary as to the
European visits. We will meet with the ambassador and his
staff, two children’s charities, the interior minister and
possibly the chief of police. We will do two interviews for
the main TV stations and the press conference will be last.
I am sure we will be asked about the Marrakech
siting which has been extensively
reported in the press. I should be able to get some more
details of this from ITV, who interviewed the witness, and
hopefully the justice minister to find out what enquiries
were made by the local police |
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DAY AND DATE GERRY USED
Day
38 -12/06/2007
We spent the day in Rabat
meeting 3 child welfare groups, the minister for interior
and the chief of police. We had little knowledge of Morocco
before coming here and have learned what a family orientated
and child loving society it is. Everyone has been incredibly
sympathetic and said they will do everything to help us find
Madeleine. As well as the meetings there was a very touching
experience outside the National Observatory for Chidren's
Rights. As we pulled up in the car there were about 150
children waving posters of Madeleine with the words above
and below a picture of her:
'All Moroccan Children
Are With You Madeleine- Madeleine: Back Home'. They were
singing and cheering Madeleine's name and shouting 'coeur',
Heart. This whole experience was uplifting and enlightening
at the same time in that we had no concept that so many
children in Morocco would know of Madeleine and also be
internet- friendly. It is just as likely that a child will
spot Madeleine and alert a responsible adult. The whole
world really has changed and is a lot smaller in this
computer age. If Madeleine is in Morocco we have no doubt
that she will be found.
We did a couple of
interviews for ITV and Sky and followed up our Newspaper
interviews focussing on a change in the phase of the
campaign. We confirmed that there will be a period of
reflection before we decide on what is the best role for
Kate and I. The campaign and the search for Madeleine will
continue and with everyone's help we will find her. So
please stay with us. |
|
|
DAY GERRY USED
Day
39 -12/06/2007
We finished off our trip to
Morocco
with a private visit to the minister for
religious affairs this morning. He is an academic, senior
cleric and adviser to the King of Morocco. We explained to
him that although we are Roman Catholic we have received
messages of support and prayers from all religious groups.
Leicester, where we live, is extremely diverse culturally
with a large proportion of Muslims and there were prayers
for Madeline throughout
Leicester on Sunday. We
asked the minister if prayers could be said for Madeleine
and other missing children in
Morocco.
He told us that people were praying for her and again
emphasised that if Madeleine is in
Morocco
they would find her. En route to the airport
a lorry had overturned blocking the exit from the motorway.
The Moroccan people dealt with this in a very calm and
relaxed manner, which we have found is a very engaging
aspect of their character. Arriving back in Praia
da Luz it was great to see Sean and
Amelie. I think they were happy to
see us although have been very well looked after as usual.
We have no more trips planned for the immediate future and
will spend the next few days taking stock. Tonight we have
also gone to the church for prayers, as it is now 40 days
and nights since Madeleine was abducted. No child or parent
should have to endure his experience and we prayed that she
would be found safe and well. |
|
|
Met with Portuguese and
British police today to get an update on the investigation.
We were reaasured that information continues to come in, and
we continue to pray for a breakthrough.
We were extremely disappointed in the
publication of the anonymous letter in The Telegraaf
(Netherlands) claiming to know where Madeleine is buried.
Although all information will be taken seriously, we were
very upset that the credibility of this letter had not been
examined and, more importantly, published before the
Portuguese police had an opportunity to investigate the
claim, and search the area if appropriate without massive
media attention. We feel strongly that this was an
irresponsible piece of journalism and even if it were true
is insensitive and cruel.
One can imagine how
upsetting it is for Kate and I to hear of such claims
through the media and if every piece of information was
published like this there would be nothing else in the
newspapers. |
|
|
Six weeks since
Madeleine disappeared. We believe Madeleine is alive and I
am glad to say that following yesterday's letter in the
Telegraaf (Netherlands) there has been no evidence that
Madeliene is in the area indicated although there will be
further searches tomorrow.
Kate and I picked up a friend from Faro airport who has
been
instrumental in helping with
the campaign. He has been fantastic, producing the DVD of
Madeleine to ‘Don’t you forget about me’
which has been shown at many
sporting events and concerts as well as producing the look
for maddie logo and various posters.
We spent most of the day
updating each other and discussing future campaign ideas. We
are getting closer to appointing a campaign manager who will
handle media liaison and coordinating events to keep
Madeleine’s disappearance highly visible |
|
|
The good news today is
that the search in response to the letter in the Telegraaf
did not find evidence of Madeleine. We still belive that
Madeleine is alive. We have
made some real progress deciding on campaign strategy. There
is a huge amount of goodwill from people who want to help us
find Madeleine and we have some concrete offers of support
and are trying to finalise details before releasing
them.Tomorrow will be a family day.
|
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|
Kate and I dropped Jon at the
airport this morning and picked up some more friends/family
who have come out to see us, but particularly the twins. They
were certainly happy to see our visitors! After lunch we
headed off to the local zoo. Relatively quiet on the
campaign front today as it is a family day. Tomorrow we will
announce one or two planned events to keep Madeleines
disappearnace high profile |
|
|
Kate and I managed an early morning run
before church.
The first event of our longer term campaign
will be on Friday 22nd June- this will mark
the 50th day Madeleine will be missing. We
will be launching green and yellow balloons
from at least 50 centres worldwide to mark
the fact that we are still searching as are
other parents of missing children. Countries
that are partcipating so far are Argentina,
El Salvador, USA, Canada, Ireland, UK,
The Netherlands, Germany, Portugal (Kate and
I in Praia da Luz), Spain, South Africa,
Kenya, United Arab Emirates, Singapore,
Australia and New Zealand. . Any other
countries that wish to partcipate can
download information from the website. |
SUNDAY,
JUNE 17:
Cherie Blair (then the Premier's
wife) phoned to find out how we were.
We talked about everything in general, including
about them leaving Number 10. She agreed as well to
make a 20-second video clip for our broadcast on
YouTube about Madeleine and children who have
disappeared.
I also had the chance to speak to Tony (then Prime
Minister) who told me that we weren't to hesitate to
ask him if there was something he could do to help.
On Sky News tonight they suddenly said the
Portuguese police had stated that the crime scene
had been contaminated' because of us' and that
fundamental evidence had been lost. How dare they
insinuate that our daughter's life could be put in
danger because of us. Very angry. Very upset.
I want to speak to someone now, but it's too late.
I changed my mind and I sent a text message to
Ricardo (Portuguese police family liaison officer).
I don't know if was a sensible idea but I feel
really annoyed.
My darling little Madeleine, you know that we
wouldn't do anything to put you in danger.
I love you very much and I am in agony right now.
I only have to hope that God helps us all now and
that he brings you back to us, safe and sound, very
soon.
I need you to come back Madeleine. You are the best
thing in my life that has ever happened to me. XXXXX
I ended up feeling very upset. Everything
overflowed. Terrified that we might not get
Madeleine back. I simply cannot face that. Tears,
despair, rage, helplessness. I spoke to Gerry,
recited prayers. Please God, bring her back XX
I fell asleep after 1am. |
|
|
|
Kate and I got the
respone we wanted after speaking to the Portuguese ploice
today. We are assured that no criticism of our actions on
the night Madeline
disappeared was intended. There has been
a good response to our planned balloon release for Madeleine
and other missing children on Friday and we are confident
that over 50 countries
will be represented.
The twins have really enjoyed seeing family
who have been visiting us for the last 3 days- it has passed
very quickly. Hopefully the next time we see them it will be
with Madeleine |
MONDAY,
JUNE 18:
I spent a few lovely hours with
Sean and Amelie building a sandcastle with a moat,
getting big hugs from Sean, ice creams.
Shower, lovely meal and a little
playtime with the kids.
(But as night closes in Kate's
anguish returns.)
I cant stand living like this. It's so painful and
distressing. Dear Lord, PLEASE answer our prayers.
PLEASE send Madeleine back to us. PLEASE.
I love you so, so much Madeleine, more than anything
XXXXX.
|
|
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|
Flew in to
London
to for a series of meetings.
Helped a passenger on the flight who
collapsed. He was ill enough to require a full
assessment on arrival and went off to hospital in an
ambulance.
Unfortunately shortly after arriving in
London
I had my wallet stolen which meant I was running
late.
I did manage to get to all my meetings which ran late into
the evening. We had very good discussions regarding
sustaining the search for Madeleine long term. The role for
Kate and I in the campaign will not
be nearly be so
public. We have to balance any campaigning in the search for
Madeleine with protecting Sean and Amelie
and making sure their privacy is protected. We are
exploring the use of new media and using local advertising,
particularly in
Europe.
There will of course be event driven media
exposure such as the balloon launch on Friday 22nd. There
are several other very good ideas being developed and a few
large companies are willing to help us. |
TUESDAY,
JUNE 19:
Last night I didn't manage to
get to sleep until around 1am because I was so upset
again. It's so painful to be without Madeleine and I
can't stand to think that it could be like this
forever. This simply cannot happen.
Good night, good night Madeleine, I'm longing to
read you a bedtime story again. I love you my little
darling X.
I'm longing to read you a bedtime story again. I
love you my little darling X. |
|
|
|
Another busy day of meetings
this time in
Leicester. No mishaps thankfully.The
main meeting was that of Maddeleines
fund where we discussed implementing a strategy to maintain
our campaign to find Madeleine. It was agreed in principle
to appoint a family spokesperson who will act, not just for
Kate and I, but also on behalf of
the extended family who have been liasing
with the media. This appointment will take a lot of strain
off family members who have been putting in such massive
efforts to help find Madeleine.
We are delighted with the
response to the 50th day balloon launch
which will truly be a global
event. There will be a few variations to the release of
balloons however. In
Ventura, Southern California,
50 white doves will be released and in
Afghanistan kite racing, an activity
banned under the Taliban, will be the order of the day.
Arrived back in Praia
da Luz this evening and it was great to see Kate
and the Kids, even though I was only away for a day and a
half. |
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 20:
There is still no sign of
Madeleine. I didn't feel like it so I decided not to
go running.
Went to pick up Gerry from the
airport. It was so good to see him. Just before we
reached the apartment we saw a man lying in the
middle of the street, so we stopped the car and got
out. It was no surprise to see that he was drunk
(we've all been there!) but he recognised Gerry and
me immediately. Gerry walked him round to his
apartment. |
|
|
|
Met with the Portuguese police
today for an update. Their
committemnt to find Madeleine
matches ours and we all hope for that vital breakthrough
every day.
We have literally received thousands of
letters, cards and messages of support here in
Portugal
which have helped
give us strength during this terrible time. Yesterday we
received a particularly touching gift which is entitled
Madeleines Book of Hope made up with
comments from children of all ages from 3 different schools
including a pre-school. The messages in different coloured
pages with green and yellow ribbons had both the power to us
cry and laugh!
The response to the balloon launch to
mark 50 days that Madeleine has been missing has been
incredible. There are close to 300 centres, and countries
all over the world, participating. There has been a lot of
local media interest but remember to take digital
photographs and videos if possible which will be able to be
uploaded to the website so we can display them. The message
of
Madeleines disappearance will reach
many more people tomorrow.
A pleasing aspect of the
launch will be the highlighting of other missing or abducted
children, many of whom will have
recieved
little public attention. I know that 7 year
old
Yeremi
Vargas will be
remembered in
Madrid
and his family will be releasing balloons from Gran
Canaria
where he disappeared in March of this year.
Our
campaign to find Madeleine will be associated with other
child welfare issues in the future. We are very keen to see
more debate
on issues that we and other
families in similar situations have to face.
Child abuse is a taboo subject
still in many countries and we must encourage responsible
debate around how child abuse can be prevented.
|
THURSDAY,
JUNE 21:
I went to the church around
9.20pm to pray a bit by myself, in peace. I got a
bit annoyed, I don't understand why God doesn't
answer my prayers. I think I need a sign of some
sort. I miss her so much. It is so painful and I
don't feel my life is complete and I won't ever feel
it is complete, if she doesn't come home. Gerry came
down later on to be with me.
Apart from a glass of wine, chocolate and this
diary, there's nothing much else to tell.
I LOVE YOU MADELEINE. GOOD NIGHT GOOD NIGHT X X X.
|
|
|
|
We never thought it would happen: 50 days
without Madeleine. Solidarity the world over has been
expressed today with the launch of balloons in every
continent to remember Madeleine and other missing children.
The event in Praia da Luz had considerable media interest as
did many other releases the world over. Sean and Amelie
released their balloons shortly after kate and I let go our
50 and we were pleased the media respected our wish for the
twins not to be photographed any longer. Please send digital
images and video of your local event to images@bringmadeleinehome.com
We were not planning to say anything at the launch but there
was such a large turnout from Portuguese TV who we have not
spoken
to for some time that we
decided to answer their questions. The beauty of the launch
was the local and international dimension with media
coverage spreading Madeleines image far and wide.
We have seen the video of the Ullapool (home of the website
and my sister Phil) launch, Glasgow and extensive pictures
from
Amsterdam. We very much look forward to seeing pictures from
all the other venues. One of these balloons may just be
found by someone who recognises Madeleine and alerts the
authorities. |
FRIDAY, JUNE 22:
I miss Madeleine loads and
that's a real understatement.
Sometimes I think I must have
done something so bad. (Then
Kate recalls the IVF treatment
she needed to get pregnant) It
was so difficult and painful
'trying' to have Madeleine and
now this!!!
Why''' Bad luck''' A sick joke''' And then I think I
don't want to think about me' I'm an adult, but
Madeleine, dear, sweet, vulnerable, beautiful
Madeleine... and I just feel like screaming. WHY'
Dear Lord, I continue to ask, continue to hope,
continue to try to have faith in You. Please help
us. Put an end to this nightmare. Please help
Madeleine. PLEASE LORD.
Unbearable
Madeleine, I love you with all my heart. You are
part of my being and I will never feel whole without
you. I hope and pray for the day, hopefully soon,
when we will be reunited and together again FOREVER.
I miss you so much. I need you. I love you.
XXXXXXXXXXX
|
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|
Relatively quiet day today
although we did spend some time planning campaign strategy
this morning. This afternoon friends of ours from Leicester
who are holidaying in the
Algarve came over to
Praia da Luz with their 2 year old
son. It was good to see them and the twins certainly enjoyed
having an extra play mate round the pool. |
SATURDAY,
JUNE 23:
I woke up after 7am hesitating
(again!) about going running but eventually I built
up enough enthusiasm to convince Gerry that we
should go. He ran quite well and without a doubt it
was worth us going.
Will we see her again one day' How can this end well
now' She's so precious. God I need you to do
something soon. I'm so desperate and suffering so
much.
This evening I felt quite low again. It's the awful
uncertainty, helplessness and worry. It's really
unbearable. I only want to be able to hide or
hibernate until this is all over and Madeleine is
back. Please make sure she's OK.
The usual' dinner, a few drinks and emails. Good
night. Good night my darling, longing to lie down...
|
|
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|
We attended the local church service this morning
as usual. After mass we bumped into an old colleague of my brothers who
aslo happens to be from
Liverpool
and had a good chat with her.
There are very little media left in Praia
da Luz although there was still one cameraman and
photgrapher
outside the church. Our requsets to respect our
privacy have been folowed, with one or two minor
exceptions during the last 52 days. Most of the campaigning will be done behind
closed doors from now on and it is essential that Amelie
and Sean are allowed to grow up without continually being photographed.
We picked the twins up early from the kids club and had a really nice afternoon
with them, playing with some new toys and then down at the pool.
If
Madeleine is not found in the next couple of
weks
we need to move out of the
appartment
we have been staying in as the family is coming out for a holiday. I have to say
the owners have been extremely understanding, as they
came to Praia da Luz for a holiday and relocated to
another apartment to save us moving again.
This degree of flexibility does not exist in the resort in high season. We have
managed to look at a few properties to rent in the last couple of days and I
think we have found somewhere suitable to live until we return back to the
UK
with Madeleine. |
SUNDAY,
JUNE 24:
Oh, Madeleine, I find the nights
so difficult and only God knows how things are going
to find you. I just want to say, once again, that
you have been the most special and amazing thing
that ever happened to me.
I've never felt such love for another person. I hope
and I trust that God and Mary are protecting you and
I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful
family and friends will continue to search for you,
and we all long for the day when you will be back
with us again' FOREVER! XX
Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX
|
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|
Today
was largely spent doing some behind the
scenes campaigning. We had a meeting about an interesting idea that would help
keep Madeleines profile high here in Portugal. Although I hope it comes
to fruition, like many of the ideas it requires a lot of planning and
cooperation. I will be having another admin day tomorrow working on implementing
our campaign events.
We were invited round to some
firends for dinner which was great,
especially for Sean and
Amelie. Finished the night off answering e-mails. Lots of photographs
are coming through for
Madeleines 50 day balloon launch.
Keep them coming and we will get them posted
soon. |
|
|
Met with the Portuguese and British police
for an update on the investigation. We raised the question
of what someone should do if they think they see Madeleine.
The clear advice is to call the local police as soon as
possible or someone working in an official capacity such as
hotel staff or tour representative. Please note that the
emergency police numbers are variable in each country. The
number in
Portugal
and Spain
is 112 but in Germany
it is 110 . The
number for most countries can be found at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emergency_telephone_number#Europe
and for those going on holiday it might be a good idea to
enter the number in your mobile phone.
If there is a sighting the police would need
as much information as possible. If there is
a car involved please remember to record the
registration number if possible.
We have met so many
well-wishers from Ireland over the last 54 days and
have recieived hundreds of
letters. On Friday of this week there is a mini-vigil
specially for Madeleine at Knock,
Irelands
holiest shrine, which will be attended by family and
friends. The vigil will take place from 8pm-midnight |
TUESDAY, JUNE 26:
I went for a short walk to the
shops nearby. I had heard that
there was a paedophile there.
Nice, isn't it'
If people informed us about these criminals of
course we'd be more cautious and we'd feel safer!
Unfortunately I read two books of messages that had
been delivered... There were three horrible ones.
One from a former Met Police officer' very
insensitive/ cruel and far from constructive!
Another said 'R.I.P. Maddie' 'how appalling!
Well, not surprisingly I was very upset and I went
out to the rocks on the beach. I cried a lot and
spoke to Madeleine and to God. I was still not ready
to go but Gerry was calling me. The police had
arrived, as planned, at the apartment. I calmed down
and went to the meeting with the police. Everything
seems to be so slow. We finished at around 7pm so I
went to be with the kids and tell them bedtime
stories. I had dinner, had a few drinks despite
having said I wanted it without alcohol!! We talked
some more.
My darling Madeleine, I feel such fear and dread
when I think of you. Every day and every night, it
is TOO MUCH. I can only have hope and trust in God
and Mary to look after you and bring you back to us
soon.
I'm so sorry if I/we let you down. I hope you know
how fond of you we are and that we would NEVER do
anything intentionally that would put you in danger'
of any kind. You are so precious to me. You make me
so happy and I miss you so much. Please God, please
Mary, keep watch over our sweet Madeleine. Keep her
safe and sound and bring her back to us soon! X X
|
|
|
|
Kate and I would like to emphasise that if
anyone who thinks they
have information relevant to Madeleine’s abduction, then please
pass this on to your local police.
It does not help us to receive such Information directly- we will only pass it
on to the police for it to be considered in context of the overall
investigation.
If people are unhappy to speak to the police directly information can be given
to the international crimestoppers anonymously. |
|
|
Busy day- some very good phone calls with
important child welfare organsations
who we will be working closely with in the future. I have no
doubt we will be able
to sustain a high profile for Madeleines disappearance in
the long term.
There has been a lot of media publicity over arrests in
Spain tonight following information related to the
investigation to find Madeleine. This appears to be a clear
signal from European police forces that they are treating
all information relating to Madeleines disappearance very
seriously |
|
|
Early rise this morning dropping off
and picking up good friends from the airport. One of our
friends from
Amsterdam, who has been
actively campaigning to publicise Madeleines disappearance, dropped in to see us for a
couple of hours since he is on a golfing trip in the Algarve.
Our friends brought back my wallet which had
been returned, needless to say minus the
Sterling, although
all my cards and €30 were still in it! It is good to have my
driving license back and one or two other important things. |
|
|
2nd version
Family day spent with Sean,
Amelie, our friends and their kids.
Attended mass this evening which was
conducted in English with prayers for Madeleine.
We have confirmed our new accommodation and
will be moving in the next few days. We seem to have
acquired a lot more stuff,
partucularly
the twins with lots of well wishers sending
them toys. We will be
staying on
Portugal for the
immediate
future and are determined to
come home with
Madeleine.
Staying in the
Algarve
also makes it easier to stay in touch with the Portuguese
polce, this is particularly important with the
investigation being so active. We have regular meetings and
calls to keep
abreast of developments. |
Day 58 - 30/06/2007 - Saturday
1st version
Family day spent with Sean, Amelie, our friends and
their kids. Attended mass this evening which was
conducted in English with prayers for Madeleine.
We have confirmed our new accommodation and will be
moving in the next few days. We seem to have acquired a
lot more stuff, partucularly the twins with lots of
well wishers sending them toys, We will be staying on
Portugsl for thr immrdiste
future and are determined to come home with Madeleine.
Staying in the Algarve also makes it easier to stay in
touch with the Portuguese polce, this is particularly
important with the investigation being so active. We
have regular meetings and calls to keep
abreatst of developmennts. |
|
|
Family day again, apart from some packing
and sorting.
Our friends are heading home in the morning
and I picked up some family from the airport tonight. Our
campaign manager has also flown in and we will be finalising
a few more events for the coming weeks |
|
|
We completed our move to the new accommodation
today. It took longer than expected as we moved the
thousands of letters of suuport we have recieved and all
the new toys. These letters and messages of support have
given us tremendous encouragement and we would like to thank
everyone who has taken the time to write to us and to those
who have donated to
Madeleines Fund, helping us continue
the campaign to find Madeleine.
Most of this evening was spent on the phone and answering e-mails finalising
forthcoming campaign events. There should be some stuff in the press in the next
few days although we are very aware that the recent terrorist activity will,
quite rightly, continue to dominate the news. |
MONDAY,
JULY 2:
(The day the McCann's had to
move from the Ocean Club apartment to a rented
house.)
I started to put everything in the suitcases and
then I took S and A to the Kids' Club around 09.20
and then I came back to pack the cases. We moved
everything to the house around 10:30. Although now I
think that it is a good thing to move to the house'
with a bit more privacy' everything feels wrong and
painful without Madeleine. I cannot believe that
this has happened. She is so loving and I
desperately want her back. Sean and Amelie appeared
very excited about the 'new house' especially with
regard to their room. After lunch on the terrace,
Gerry filled the Jacuzzi with cold water and the
children enjoyed themselves immensely in their
'swimming pool'. I went to look for Chinese food for
4.
Oh dear Madeleine, where are you' Are you nearby'
Please keep well and be strong, my little one. We
are desperate to find you. We love you very much.
You are so special. I long to give you the biggest
hug in the WORLD!! I miss you so much. I love you so
much my dear Madeleine.' |
|
|
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We did a single interview today for the
Portuguese media with a British journalist sitting in. The
interview marked the fact that it is two months to the day
since Madeleine was abducted. We took the opportunity to
emphasise that we would be staying in Portugal for the
immediate future and continuing the campaign to help find
Madeleine. We also want to work closely with the media here
in Portugal and engage closely with the Portuguese people
who have been so supportive.
We were asked what was the hardest day since
Madeleine disappeared and replied
that
every day has been hard without Madeleine. We also stated
that our determination to find Madeleine is matched by the
Portuguese police and that we have a good working
relationship with them. Our frequent meetings with the
police help us stay informed, allow us to feed information
into the investigation and let clarify information with
senior officers conducting the investigation |
|
|
The England rugby team wore Look for
Madeleine T-shirts at their open training session in the
Algarve
today. I am looking forward to seeing the
pictures tomorrow! We had a brief, private meeting with the
RFU management team last night to thank them for this
unprompted show of support which helps keep
Madeleines
disappearance high profile here in Portugal and at home.
We also met today with SOS
Crianca, which is the main child
welfare non-governmental organisation in Portugal. Similar to our meetings
with child welfare groups and ministers in other countries,
they feel our campaign to keep Madeleines
profile high is correct. It was a very
constructive meeting and they have offered to help support
us in any way they can. It is likely we will travel to Lisbon at some point to meet with other
agencies to see what advice they have for us and if we can
help them. We hope the huge amount of goodwill that has been
generated following Madeleines abduction can be translated into tangible
benefits for the future and we very much want to work with
the organisations trying to prevent child abduction and
expoitation.
It was heartening for Kate and I to learn of
the release today of Alan Johnston after almost 4 months in
captivity. Although the circumstances of his kidnapping are
very different to that of
Madeleines, it still lifted us to see
him being freed knowing he will be reunited with his family
shortly.
We also agree with the commentators who have
stated his family have acted with tremendous dignity
throughout and Alan himself appeared incredibly resilient
and composed following his release. Our best wishes go to
Alan and his family. |
|
|
Heart wrenching to learn of the little
British 3 year old girl who has been kidnapped in Nigeria.
We know more than anyone what ther
parents are going through and we hope, that
like most of the kidnap victims in Nigeria, she is
returned safely.
The pictures of the
England
rugby squad in their Madeleine t-shirts were
excellent as were the comments of the players supporting the
campaign to find Madeleine. We hope and pray she will soon
be able to thank all of those who have helped us maintain
such a high profile of her disappearance |
THURSDAY, JULY
5:
I got up at 7.15. Gerry went for
a run.
NOTHING is or will be as good
again without Madeleine.
I am thinking about you a lot, dearest Madeleine,
and praying a lot so that we find you soon' alive
and unharmed.
Stay strong' you know that we all love you very very
very much XXXXX.
|
|
|
|
The major development
today was the arrest of a 39 year old Dutch citizen in
Eindhoven
for attempted fraud. The man had sent six
e-mails saying he knew who had Madeleine and where she was. He was demanding €2million for
this information. After being arrested he has admitted he
did not have any information and was
motivated by boredom and trying to extort
the money.
This arrest, after cooperation between the Portuguese, British and Dutch
police forces, sends a clear message that this sort of crime is unacceptable and
will not be tolerated. It also encourages Kate and I
that all information about Madeleine coming through to the police in any
European country will be taken seriously and rigorously evaluated. |
FRIDAY,
JULY 6:
(The day a man was arrested in
Holland for a cruel hoax intended
to extort '1.3million from the
McCann's in return for details of the kidnappers and
Madeleine's location.) I wrote my emails and
finished our statement for when the story broke
about the Dutch man's extortion near lunchtime.
He's 39,
unemployed, says that he was bored and wanted to
play with our emotions. Bastard. David Miliband (the
new Foreign Secretary) phoned Gerry to offer
support. |
|
|
|
Quiet family day. |
SATURDAY,
JULY 7:
We had breakfast and got the
children ready as usual. At 10.30 the four of us
went to the Algarve Shopping Centre.
The plan was to
buy sandals and some other things for the children.
However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop
three times on the way there, since Sean and Amelie
were crying alternately.
I began to feel
that it had been a wasted day, even though Sean and
Amelie had some good goes in Noddy's car and
Popeye's boat. The return journey was slightly more
bearable.
I had a 'moment'
while we were having lunch. I saw a woman who looked
pregnant and I began to think about when I was
pregnant with Sean and Amelie. And then it hit me.
(Kate then remembers a touching scene from the
past.) Madeleine was coming to visit us later that
evening, the look of wonder on her face, and
afterwards she got in beside me in bed. She was and
is so adorable'a real jewel, a real gift. And I
painfully miss her.
At around 18.00
went to church. It was good... there was nobody else
there. Later Gerry turned up and joined me and we
went down as far as the rocks on the beach and
talked a little about Madeleine. But I began to feel
slightly pessimistic and fearful. Please, my God,
prove to us that we are not wrong. But I was feeling
worse. Please, my God, let this have a happy ending.
I have been
thinking a lot about you today, Madeleine. I am so
worried and frightened for you. I can only hope that
God has you in his hands and brings you back to us
soon. Please, my God, help us, help Madeleine.
We love her and
we need her so much, and she loves us and needs us.
Please, please, please make it so that we have some
good news soon. Good night darling. I love you. (I
can hardly wait to say 'See you tomorrow.')
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |
|
|
|
A small event took place in Porto, in the north of
Portugal, today
to remember missing children. It was at a large schools end of year musical and
the children and staff released balloons.
It is good that local communities are staging
events like this and we thank them for remembering Madeleine.
We were glad to hear the young British girl kidnapped in Nigeria was returned safely today |
|
No major news today but it was heartening
to see both the British and Portuguese Prime Ministers,
Gordon Brown and Jose Socrates, publicly pledge they would
continue to do everything to help find Madeleine. |
|
Kate and I both managed early
morning runs today- it is definitely the time of day to it
with the high temperatures in the middle of summer. Getting
some aerobic exercise certainly helps us feel
better physically and
psychologically which helps maintain our positive attitude.
The investigation into Madelienes disapperance remains very active and
we note that the Portuguese police are conducting a series of interviews
today and tomorrow. |
|
This morning got off to a bad start
when we were called, even before the twins were awake, by a
reputable press agency saying that a body had been found and
asking if it was true. It is very disappointing that this
person did not check out the source of this rumour before
contacting our representatives. Such calls and rumours are
distressing even though we know if it does not come through
an official source not to place much emphasis on it.
The Portuguese police interviewed three of our friends again today, to clarify
points in their initial statements. As most of you will know, there is a lot of
misleading information being published, both in the press and on the internet,
about the events leading up to Madeleine's disappearance and the criminal
investigation. We would like to give more information, especially about
inaccurate and hurtful reports, but cannot for fear of prejudicing any
subsequent court proceedings. The Portuguese police have made it clear to us
that all witnesses should not divulge or discuss the information they have
provided. Kate and I are, of course not party to all of the information coming
into the inquiry for sound operational reasons.
Similarly a lot of people have asked to learn more about
Madeleines
likes and dislikes.
This is information which we have been advised
not to distribute publicly because of the risk of it being used in potential
extortion attempts. The arrests recently in The Netherlands and Spain show that such information
could be used negatively in the wrong hands. |
|
|
It is ten weeks since Madeleine was
abducted and every day has been incredibly hard for our
family. No child should be separated from their family in
such circumstances. The overwhelming messages of support,
thoughts and prayers really help us stay strong.
Somebody,
somewhere knows where Madeleine is and it
may take a single phone call for her to be found. We will
not give up searching for her.
I came to
London
today to meet with the British police and
will go to the Child Exploitaion and Online Protection Centre tomorrow to learn
more about their role. As I have said previously we want to
work closely with the police and child welfare organisations
to help us keep awareness of Madeleines and other childrens
disappearance high.
I was also invited to attend the National
Police Federation Annual Bravery awards tonight. The work of
the police is often taken for granted until you really need
them. It was a humbling experience to see and meet so many
officers who have shown such outstanding bravery in the line
of duty and protecting us all.
It was a fantastic opportunity to thank
officers from all over the country who have
been involved with the investigation to find
Madeleine. The vast majority of those that I
managed to speak to are, like us, very
optimistic that we will find Madeleine safe
and well. |
THURSDAY,
JULY 12:
I hate the person who took my
Madeleine'the same one who has caused all this
trouble, who made us feel worthless and mistrustful
and mainly who has frightened my beautiful
Madeleine. I will never forgive that person/those
people for this. Never.
Today I washed the Cuddle Cat (Madeleine's favourite
soft toy and a constant comfort to heartbroken
Kate). I was hoping not to have to do it until
Madeleine returns, but it was now quite dirty and
smelly, unfortunately without the smell of Madeleine
on it. XX |
|
|
|
Spent a large part of the day at the Child
Exploitation and Online Protecetion (CEOP) headquarters in London. The work they are doing in the
prevention and detection of child exploitation is fantastic
and I have no doubt they are world leaders in many aspects
of their work.
The statistics of child abduction in the UK, both attempted and sucessful cases, are stagggering
with over 1000 reported cases in 2003/4 and
the figures show a year on year increase. The scale of the
problem is much larger than Kate and I ever imagined and
worryingly there does not appear to be reliable statistics
for many countries in
Europe. Clearly a lot of work
has to be done to tackle this growing problem.
Kate and I believe that
someone, somewhere knows something
about Madleines
abduction.
The events of recent weeks and the high profile of Madeleine reassure us that
when the key piece of information comes in, to any law enforcement
agnecy, it will be treated seriously and fed into the inquiry
quiickly
and actioned |
|
|
Kate, the twins and myself attended a
family baptism today in Yorkshire where we stood as
Godparents. At the end of the short service, which was
lovely, prayers were said for Madeleine. It is the first
time Kate has been to the UK since Madeleine
disappeared but we wanted
to support our family the same way they have supported us over the last ten
weeks and it was great to see so many family members together. We have also
taken a huge amount of strength from our faith and of course the messages of
support and prayers for Madeleine from people of all faiths around the world.
|
|
|
Travelled back to Portugal
today on an early morning flight. It was
heartening to see various posters of
Madeleine up at all the
check-in desks especially with the busy holiday season underway.
The flight itself was quiet for Kate and I
as the twins fell asleep shortly after take-off. My mum and sister have also
come out to for a few days so we managed to see a lot of family this weekend |
|
|
The campaign to find Madeleine
received a a massive boost today from JK Rowling. The author
of the massive selling Harry Potter books has asked all
retailers to display a specially designed poster of
Madeleine when the sixth and final book Harry Potter and the
Deathly Hallows goes on sale on Saturday 21st July. Ms
Rowling, who lived in Portugal for several years, has
offered amazing support in the search for Madeleine. As well
as offering a large reward for Madeleines safe return she
has also added information on Madeleines abduction on her
own site with a link back to our homepage. Try and find the
information at www.jkrowling.com, I will give you a clue
that it is under links! A huge thank you to JK Rowling and
her publishers Bloomsbury for their support.
The new poster of Madeleine has been
designed in conjunction with the International Centre for
Missing and Exploited Children (ICMEC) and this is one of
the things we have been working on in the last couple of
weeks. ICMEC promote awareness of missing children globally
and aim to prevent child sexual exploitation and abduction.
The poster features 3 pictures of Madeleine with the advice
to contact the local police if you see her. ICMEC, their
logo and both theirs and our websites are also on the
poster. The distribution of this poster will enhance the
awareness of Madeleines disappearance, which we are advised
increases the
chances of finding her, and the
plight of other missing children.
With the announcement of the poster Kate and I also did a short
interview for the press. A lot of photographs were taken of us with the
poster so I suspect some of these will make it in to the newspapers in
the next few days. |
|
|
Madeleine has been missing for 75 days today and last night Kate and I
attended mass to pray for her. On the back of the latest poster launch with Harry
Potter and The Deathly Hallows, the
extensive media coverage and the millions of
people who are desperate to find Madeleine,
we are still very hopeful that Madeleine
will be safely returned. As parents, Kate
and I cannot contemplate giving up the
search for our daughter. |
TUESDAY,
JULY 17:
Finding it very difficult to
talk to people from home, unless they are directly
involved. It is difficult to show an interest in
other people's lives and children at the moment. I
know it sounds horrible, selfish and egocentric, but
at the moment I can only think about Madeleine. I
don't want to hear about anyone having babies or
getting pregnant (mainly because it was all so very
difficult for us). I'm worried about turning into a
bitter, angry woman, that would be horrible. Please
God bring Madeleine back and let this nightmare end.
Please don't let our lives be destroyed by this.
Please don't let them hurt Madeleine.
Earlier today I found Amelie in our room looking at
photos of Madeleine and she said: 'I miss my sister.
Where's my sister''
I couldn't believe it. I didn't realise Amelie's
vocabulary and use of words was so good. I just
said: 'I miss her too. We'll find her soon.' What a
little sweetheart!
She then turned her attention to something else.
We took turns jumping into the water with the kids,
which was great fun. After a DVD and a story it was
the twins' bedtime which didn't take too long
tonight. Madeleine, we are all with you darling.
Keep strong, be patient, we'll keep on going till we
find you. I love you so much. We hope and pray we'll
see you soon.
Goodnight, my darling. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
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Pretty busy day. Started off with a few
phone calls and answering e-mails. We had a longer meeting
than usual with the Portuguese police because I had gone
back to London last week . We have a good relationship with
them and, as well as the British officers who are in
Portugal, we can feed any information sent to us back in to
the enquiry through an English Speaking detective.
The investigation, as everyone has seen
recently, is still very active. There is also a lot of
labour intensive detective work going on behind the scenes.
Kate and I hope and pray every day for a breakthrough and
cannot consider going home without her |
WEDNESDAY, JULY 18:
It was suggested that Madeleine
is dead and buried in an area close to the beach,
behind the cliff.
What can I say' I feel my body's on the verge of
collapse. How much pain and emotion can one body
take' I had a bad afternoon. I was very worried,
desperate, extremely on edge. I don't think I can
take any more of this, I really can't. How much
longer will this suffering go on' I need Madeleine
ALIVE. |
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I was glad to see the messages of support
page updated today after a few days with some technical
hitches. Kate and I spent some time reading through them and
your messages do help us, especially on days when we are
feeling particularly low. Our search for Madeleine is
nothing without public support and we would like to give our
thanks to everyone who has helped us in any way over the
last 77 days.
The kids are really enjoying spending time with their
granny who they have not seen for two months.
They particularly enjoyed her mashed potatoes tonight which brought a big smile
to my mums face. The last couple of days we have spent an hour or two by a
nearby pool and their confidence in the water has really improved. |
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Kate and I spent a few hours with our campaign manager discussing longer term
strategies to maintain Madeleines profile,
in case she is not found soon. We had a long
conference call with two organisations that
are keen to help us with the campaign but
there is still quite a bit of work to be
done before this venture can be announced.
We also managed an early morning run together, thanks to my mum supervising
the kids breakfast. We made it to the top of
the cliffs overlooking Praia da Luz in 16
minutes although we did have to walk at the
steepest part. I had my first visit to a
nearby beach for a
while with the kids late on this afternoon whilst Kate took the opportunity to
get through lots of e-mails. The twins took
great delight in burying me in the sand,
building (well mainly knocking down)
sandcastles and trying to jump out of the
waves, which were tiny although the water
was certainly colder than I was expecting. |
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Relatively quiet day on the
campaign front. Spent the day with the kids and visited the Algarve
Zoo Marine which they really enjoyed,
particularly the dolphins |
SATURDAY,
JULY 21:
I continue to feel very low. I
miss Madeleine so much. It's as if a ray of light
has disappeared from my life. There's no doubt that
Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words
can say.
We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those
dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of
anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we
have to cope with this pain'
My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord' My heart aches
with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate
being without you.
(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine
in the Ocean Club apartment.)
If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear
recollections of that night. You were so tired.
After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my
wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and
Amelie) read 'Mog' in the living area and then 'if
you're happy and you know it'. We all sat down on
your bed.
Then you counted the squares on the last page. You
were always counting things on pages...always laying
your head on your pillow at the same time every
night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want
you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX
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Spent the whole day travelling from the
Algarve to Washington where I will be
visiting the National and International
Centers for Missing and Exploited Children
and meeting politicians involved in recent
legislation on missing children. The flights
for our campaign manager and myself were
kindly donated by an airline.
There is a very upsetting story on the front
page of a British National Newspaper today.
The headline suggests that Kate and I face
prosecution for neglecting our children by
dining 50 yards away and checking on them
regularly. We know that there has been
criticism in some quarters of our actions
but at the time, we felt our actions were
responsible. We were essentially performing
our own baby listening service although we
have talked of the guilt we felt at now
being there at the moment Madeleine was
taken.
We have been advised that legally our
behaviour was well within the bounds of
responsible parenting and subsequently been
assured that no action will be taken. These
types of criticism, particularly at this
stage, as well as being hurtful are
extremely unhelpful in the search for
Madeleine. From the moment we discovered
Madeleine missing Kate and I have done
everything in our power to try and help get
her back.
Our opinion now is completely clouded by
what has happened to us and of course has
sent shock waves through thousands of
families. The real issue is that we should
not have a constant fear of abduction of our
children from their bedrooms,
gardens or streets for that matter.
What Kate and I did was at worst naďve and
no one should forget that the real criminal
is the predator who has taken a completely
innocent child in such a premeditated
fashion. It is this act that has wreaked
havoc on our family and affected millions of
other people |
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Very busy day and I was almost asleep by the
time I got back to the hotel so apologies
for not posting the blog earlier. We started
off by spending the morning at the National
Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC).
We had a tour of the NCMEC led by President
Ernie Allen who has been there for 23 years
and there is little he does not about
missing children.
The work done at NCMEC is extremely
impressive. It coordinates information for
all missing children and it was the center
that pushed for the implementation of the
early warning missing child (AMBER) alert
throughout the USA. The center was also
instrumental along with the founder, John
Walsh, in getting the Adam Walsh bill passed
on the 25th anniversary of the young boys
murder.
NCMEC officials organised a meeting with the
US attorney general Gonzales at the justice
department. He was already aware of
Madeleine’s disappearance and has made child
protection a major concern for him. I
explained in a little more detail regarding
Madeleine’s case and the fact that she is
still missing after 81 days. He was very
supportive of the campaign to keep
Madeleines profile high and of the work that
we are doing with NCMEC and its
International division (ICMEC).
We went back to NCMEC in the afternoon and I
had detailed discussions with some of the
experts there regarding Madeleines
disappearance. We also had a board meeting
with ICMEC regarding working together on
other developments in raising the profile of
missing children particularly using internet
resources.
Finished the day off with an interview for
Americas Most Wanted who have been following
Madeleines abduction almost since the
beginning. The programme is actually hosted
by John Walsh and has massive viewing
figures of around 12 million |
MONDAY,
JULY 23:
I got up at 7.00 and went
running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or
less 12)'it really wasn't a nice experience. I went
to the flat, high part of the cliff as I felt really
alone and a little frightened. Please God, don't let
Madeleine be buried here. Please God, make sure
she's alive. Please God, bring her back quickly to
us.
I took S and A to the Kids' Club at 9.45 then I went
to church to pray a little on my own.
Every single moment of happiness with Sean and
Amelie, who are both so delightful, is mixed with
deep sadness. All I want is Madeleine to be safe and
happy again.
Baths, stories and some bedtime chaos from Sean and
Amelie before I finally put them to bed at 21.15.
I spent some time on the internet reading about
Sarah Payne (Roy Whiting), Eliz. Smart (Brian
Mitchell) and the Peter Voisey case (he abducted a
six-year-old girl from the bath in North Tyneside).
Really horrible.
Night, night sweetheart. I'm trying to be positive.
I need to be because I need to believe that you're
going to come back to me, so I can go back to being
truly happy. I love you XXX. |
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Another busy day in
Washington.
Started early on at NCMEC with interviews from 6.15am for the
five major US TV networks morning news shows. A very
serious issues programme 20-20 was also recording our visit
to the America, as they will also be
producing a piece on the search to find Madeleine.
Late morning we had a visit to the White
House to meet with the First Lady's deputy chief of staff
Sarah Armstrong. This visit was facilitated by Lady
Catherine Meyer, founder of the British charity PACT, which
is an affiliate of ICMEC and has done so much to raise
awareness of missing children in the
UK. Mrs
Bush is a strong supporter of child welfare issues and is in
fact an Honorary Board member of ICMEC. They were already
aware of Madeleines disappearance and I took the opportunity to
fill them in on my visit to
Washington,
particularly the work we are doing with ICMEC and the
meeting we had with the attorney general. We finished with a
very quick tour of the public areas in the White House which
is a very impressive building and we also met one of the
Presidents Scottish terriers! Immediately following the
visit I did a few interviews for the British Media in front
of the White House.
After a very brief lunch it was on to
Capitol Hill for meetings with politicians who have been
instrumental in getting the Adam Walsh BIll and others passed. We met with Democrat congressman
Nick Lampson and Republican Senator Robert Shelby who both
know the board members of NCMEC very well. They were both
very keen to do what they could to help find Madeleine and
the support during the visit we have received has been
tremendous.
I spoke to Kate and the kids, whose
telephone skills are developing very quickly
which is nice for me when I
am away like this. Kate has stayed on in
Portugal
and has been keeping in touch with the police but there are no major
developments to report. In the evening I managed to meet up with a friend from Glasgow who is also a cardiologist and working in the Washington area. We went
for a bite to eat and it was good to sit down quietly with a familiar face for
an hour or two. |
TUESDAY,
JULY 24:
Sean and Amelie had lots of fun
in the Jacuzzi' laughter galore! Carrot sticks and
crisps were had by all at teatime.
Oh, darling
Madeleine. It pains me to think of you' it causes me
such sorrow and I have no idea how you feel. I pray
to God that you are well, that you are not hurt. I
pray that God keeps you safe and sound and that
you're not afraid, nor in pain.
Please God,
answer my prayers and please, please, please bring
Madeleine back to us very soon, for our own
happiness. Please God.
Madeleine,
sweetheart, I love you so much. I can't stop saying
it. Night, night darling. We will keep hoping and
having faith in God. XXXXXXX. |
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Up early this morning catching up with e-mails and
phone calls as well as updating the
blog. Managed another early morning
run, round
Washington
centre this time, which is quite beautiful
with grand buildings and monuments separated by wide grassy
areas.
I had another meeting with another
congressman Mike Rogers who is an ex-FBI agent and we
distributed wristbands to Nick Lampson and some of his
colleagues as well as members of NCMEC
This afternoon we had a meeting with the British
Ambassador at his residence to update him on our meetings.
The Embassy itself is a stunning building almost rivalling
the Whitehouse
Flying back to
Portugal
this evening to get back to the family. I
have no doubt that this visit to Washington has been
extremely productive and will really help to maintain Madeleines profile. We will continue to work closely
with ICMEC who have incredible experience and energy in dealing with missing
children. |
Restless
WEDNESDAY, JULY 25: I
received some bad news last night. A friend has
breast cancer and has just received her first dose
of chemotherapy following surgery. Horrible. I will
include her in my prayers.
At around 15.30
I went for a run. I had begun to feel restless and
worried about Madeleine. It was hot and hard work,
but I felt better for having gone.
We returned at
around 18.15 'the children's dinner and baths, our
dinner.
(and the
children's once again!).
Madeleine,
sweetheart, you are the most important thing, the
only thing that matters. Words cannot describe how I
feel about you nor how restless, tormented, alone,
sad and incomplete I feel.
I will continue
to hope and pray that you come back to us soon but I
don't want to think about how good it would be to
feel something like that' not yet, at least.
I love you so,
so much darling. I remember sitting watching you
through the glass window when you were having your
swimming lessons on a Saturday morning. There you
were with your yellow swimsuit, ever so pretty and
you were smiling and waving at me, and the tears
rolled down my face!
I was and am
still so proud of you, Madeleine, and my love for
you is never-ending. I can't stop saying how much I
love you dearly. I'm going to try and stay strong
for you and you have to do the same. You know we
love you and we are going to keep going until we
find you again.
All my love,
Madeleine. Night, night. Sleep well. May God protect
you. XXXXX. |
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Spent most of the day travelling getting
back to Portugal late afternoon. It was
great to be back with Kate and the kids after the short
visit to Washington. It was also
great to see so many pictures from the 50th day balloon
launch on the website.
A lot of people have been asking what
can they do to maintain the search
for Madeleine. The advice we have had consistently from the
beginning, and very much re-emphasised by the experience of
the National Center for
Missing and Exploited Children is to maintain a high profile
for the missing child. This can be achieved by
relatively simple measures such as displaying posters in prominent public
places. We ask people to continue downloading posters from the website and
display them at bus stations, train stations and of course take them on holiday.
Kate and I would like to thank everyone who desperately wants us to be reunited
with Madeleine and have helped in this regard. |
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2nd version new website
Quite a lot of e-mails
and telephone calls today planning future events, which
might be helpful to keep Madeleine in peoples minds. I am
sure there will be a lot of interest in Saturday August
11th because
that will mark 100 days if Madeleine is
still missing. This date coincides with the world pipe band
championships being held in Glasgow. A former world pipe band champion, Alasdair
Gillies who is a friend of one of my sisters, has composed a ‘Marvellous March
for Madeleine’ that will be played by 100 pipers from all over the world. It
should be quite a spectacle and hopefully it will be a celebration, and not a
another marker that Madeleine is still missing |
Day 85 - 27/07/2007 - Friday
1st version old website
Quite a lot of e-mails and telephone calls
today planning future events, which might be helpful to keep Madeleine in
peoples minds.
I am sure there will be a lot of interest in
Saturday August
11th if Madeline because
that will mark 100 days if Madeleine is
still missing. This date coincides with the world pipe band championships being
held in
Glasgow.
A former world pipe band champion, Alasdair Gillies who is a friend of one of my sisters, has composed a
Marvellous March for Madeleine that will be played by 100 pipers from all over
the world. It should be quite a spectacle and
hopefully it will be a celebration, and not
a another marker that Madeleine is
still missing. |
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Quiet family day, as is
often the case of a Saturday. It has become
blisteringly hot here over the
last few days and we decided to take the kids down to the
beach early morning. Even then it was hot and there was
almost no breeze although the water is still very cold.
Met a very nice
Portuguese couple who offered us good wishes in trying to
find Madeleine.
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SATURDAY,
JULY 28:
I got up at 7.30 after a late
and disturbed night of sleep.
At around 16.20 we had a dip in
the Jacuzzi. Sean and Amelie loved it. After tea I
went to the small church. I was a little tearful.
It's really hard
for me not to worry about the small things. I wonder
does anyone brush her teeth' She looks so happy in
that photo taken on that last day.
I know I'm
repeating myself but I can't stop myself from saying
how much I love you, Madeleine. I'll say it as many
times as I need to. You're so, so special. XXXXX.
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Dropped Trisha and Sandy off at the airport
this morning for an emotional farewell.
They have offered us the most unbelievable
support and I am not sure how we would have functioned
without
them here. They have been
the silent face of the campaign to find Madeleine, putting
their lives on hold to help us get through each difficult
day. From time to time we will have other friends and family
coming to
Portugal
to see the kids and catch up with Kate and
I. |
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We had a routine meeting today with the
Portuguese police. Kate and I are confident that every
avenue is being explored and the vital piece of information
that leads to Madeleine is only a phone call away.
This is the last time we will have met the
Consul General in a professional capacity, as he retires
tomorrow and will be returning to the
UK. Bill has provided us with
consular support since day 1 and, naturally, he got to know
us very well during the last 3 months. He has said that
Madeleines
abduction is the most tragic circumstance he
has had to deal with. Without doubt Bill has given us
excellent support and we wish him and his wife a very happy
retirement |
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Relatively quiet day apart from phone calls and campaign
related e-mails.
We have Busy couple of days coming up so off to bed
relatively early (before midnight)!
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TUESDAY, JULY 31:
(The day before police seized
the diary) I got up early after
another late and very disturbed
night.
I dropped by the
church. I feel better after these short
conversations.
I cooked my
first meal (since they took Madeleine!!) for dinner
tonight.
Please God' make
me right. Please God' protect her. Please God' bring
her back to us soon!
Night, night
Madeleine, by dearest little angel. My sweetheart,
my darling, my love, my companion. I love you more
than anything. Lots of hugs my darling. I'm going to
dream that I'm lying by your side' moments I'll
always cherish and I long to have again.
Sweet dreams my
little one. Be strong. Mummy XXXXX.
Pope was so gentle and so sincere
DEVOUT Catholic Kate's nerves were on edge as she
and Gerry prepared to meet the Pope at the Vatican
on May 30.
On May 28 she
wrote: 'I felt somewhat concerned. This is going to
be a little too much, I only want Madeleine back and
to return to our normal life.'
Two days later
her diary recalls: 'Pope Benedict XVI arrived in his
'pope mobile' waving to everyone. It immediately
became clear that he recognised us. He took hold of
our hands and he was so gentle, so sincere.
'I thanked him
for having allowed us to be there with him. He said
he would pray for us and that he would continue to
pray for Madeleine and for her safe return. I gave
him the photo of Madeleine' he blessed it (with the
thumb)' something that we would be able to keep for
ever. A shy man but very friendly.
'Very emotional, very
positive, very important' charming.
'Please, God,
bring back to us little Madeleine. We love her so
much and we miss her so much. Please Lord, help us
to be united once again shortly as a family.
'Later on,
Clarence (Foreign Office family liaison) told me
that, before that (meeting the Pope), a butterfly
had flown above and had landed on the bow on my
hair.
'Following on,
it left, but it came back and landed on my lapel. An
omen, we hope.' |
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